Obviously My Camel's Not Good Enough
by MiaRocks
Summary: Masimo is finally out of the way and now Georgia can finally tell Dave how she feels about him. But something happens and Dave has to leave for a while. What will happen while he is away?
1. Dave loves me?

_**Obviously My Camel's not good enough.**_

**A/N: Hey everyone. No, I haven't died. I have just not been around. Dragged off to Scotland the day after Boxing Day (and might I add, it was bloody freezing but fun.) and then my dad came down and I had to do some stuff with him. Didn't really want to but hey ho. Anyway, I had a new idea for a fic and I wanted to start writing. I haven't left my other fic, it might take a bit longer for updates but I will try my best.**

**I do not own any of the character unless told otherwise, everything is Louise Rennison's, except the plot. That's allll mine :)**

**Chapter 1 - Dave loves me?**

**Monday 19****th**** September**

**German**

Was ist der point? Why should we be forced to learn another language? As if it's not bad enough with English, we have to learn the language of Spangleferkel and lederhosen. I am in times of great depression and shouldn't be expected to work. I will just go to sleep now and hope I never wake up.

**30 seconds later**

Ha. What was I thinking? I will never sleep with the Ditherqueen one side of me dithering like never before, and Vole Women the other side talking about last nights ramble. Can't they see I am in dire state of depressnosity and confusnosity? What was I thinking? Them taking an interest in someone other then themselves? Silly me.

**1 minute later**

"Heeeeeeey Gee. What happened last night after the nearly fisticuffs?" Right. My best friend can't take an interest in my life, but Rosie can. I would rather her not though. Her answer to everything is either to do with fish or hair. Not something that would help me right now. Hmph.

"Well, after the whole nearly fisticuffs I went home after Jas decided to leave me and go and snog Hunky's face off" (Not literally you fools that would just be...erlack.) "And leave her best friend in her time of need!" I put emphasis on the last bit so Jas could hear me. She didn't.

"You left? Why didn't you tell anyone?" Rosie said frowning.

"Why didn't you notice?" I raised my eyebrows. Then she raised hers. I raised mine. She raised her. I raised mine and you get the nub. We both raised out eyebrows exceptionally high. Rosie's almost looked like her hair had eaten them. I must say she looks quite fetching with no eyebrows. In a strictly non-lezzie was of course. I might be hitting an all time low in my boy type life but I will never turn to that way of life. I mean, I have respect for everyone who has chosen that way in life but I would prefer to be a nun if things get _that_ bad. And that is le fact.

"So what are you going to do? About Dave and Masimo?"

"I was thinking maybe become a nun. Simple and there is no confusnosity about it." I said, pretending to have some interest in my work so they would hopefully get the message and leave me alone.

They did as a matter of fact. Never thorght that would work. But now we have to listen to Ellen dither on about Dec and their amazing date last night (McDonalds). Dec sure knows how to show a girl a good time. Well, Ellen anyway. She loved it. Well that was all I could get out of her constant dithering "I, y'know, loved it, or something, y'know." No surprisingly I do not know.

**3 minutes later**

What to do. What to do. I need some help.

I won't ask Jas because she will say that I am being a rod bottomed tart and should take control of my life. No go there then.

Rosie's answers always involve fish and hair like I said. I don't think Masimo (or Dave for that matter) would find the attraction in fish. But apparently, Rosie said all foreign boys love fish. So, if I go and get into a giant fish suit, Masimo will strangely be all over me? (Oo-er) I don't think so.

Ellen, well I need an answer this century, and I won't put myself through that pain.

Mabs. She's in her own little bubble, daydreaming. Probably about Ed. At least she has someone to dream about.

And Jools. Well, she's texting Rollo. As if they have anything else to talk about. They see each other about 23 hours of the day. And she will probably bite my head of if I disturb her. She can be very vicious at times.

So I guess that leaves me and my own brain. Big G, help me now.

**Break**

I am going to bite the bull by the horns and get through today with a smile. Ok, here it goes.

"Georgia. Stop smiling like that your scaring us." Thanks Po.

I'm feeling quite peckish. I will have to resort to asking for one of Jas's midget gems. And when I say asking, I mean nicking one and then take the wrath she throws at me. I am taking quite a risk, she does have a hefty kick for such a small person.

**1 minute later**

Ok. Remind me never to go there again. Apparently, she needs her nutritional foods (I.e. A packet of midget gems and some pop tarts) so she will be up for a ramble tonight with Hunky, and then when I tried to reach for one she had a bit of a spaz attack and then blamed me for messing up her fringe. And instantly after she went into fringe flicking mode. This is the kind of world we live in. One when boyfriends and rambles and fringes come before best friends and starvation.

"So Gee. What are you going to do about your Dave vs. Masimo fandango?" Rosie said wiggling her eyebrows.

"I can't think on an empty stomach." That explains why I never think. The amount of foods Mutti gets (nothing) and the amount of thinking I have to do. It's terrible parenting skills really but I am too kind enough not to say it. To her anyway.

Rosie threw a packet of Maltesers at me. Yummy Scrumboes.

**5 minutes later**

I am finally finished. I took my time eating them so it would prevent further questions. I at the chocolate off the outside and then crunched the inside. And there is still 5 minutes of break left.

"Right, _now_ what are you going to do about your Dave vs. Masimo fandango?"

Hmmmm. What am I going to do? I will have to think up something quick because I am getting stared at by 5 gogs. Scary when you have Jas standing in front raising her eyebrows and then frowning. Again and again. I must tell her never to do that if she doesn't want to get beat up by O.A.P's for them mistaking her for a physco. Well they wouldn't be far off I can tell you that which I just did because I heard myself think it.

"Well, if Masimo ever decides to show his face on this earth anytime soon, I will tell him I am very sorry for displaying my red bottom to Dave and then ask him to marry me. Give or take the marrying him bit."

They all looked at each other. Side to side to side and you get it. Shut up looking you looking things.

"Georgia, are you completely blind?" I should hope not. Otherwise what I am seeing isn't real. I wish it wasn't real because then I wouldn't be seeing Jas eyeing me up. Oo-er. But if we are all seeing the same thing, how do we all know what we are all seeing isn't real? If you get what I mean and I think you do.

"I should hope not Jazzy Spazzy. Then I wouldn't be seeing you 5, all crowded round me like I am some sort of freak show. Which by the by, I am not." Rosie rolled her eyes. What am I not being told? I will ask them this too.

"What am I not being told?"

They then all looked abit fidgety. Tell me you spoons before I take drastic measures. And these drastic measures includes Jas's fringe. I think you know what I am talking about. If not, you are as dim as a dim person of the first waters. (I.e. vair vair dim.)

"TELL ME!"

"DAVE LOVES YOU!" Being shouted at by 5 people at once is quite sca- What?! Dave...Me...Loves...Laugh...Kittykat...Masimo...Love...Dave loves me? No, that can't be right. Of course Dave doesn't love me.

"Of course Dave doesn't love me."

"Yes. He does Gee." Why would he tell them he loves me and not tell me? I will tell them that, too.

"Why would he tell you guys he loves me, and not tell me, the one he supposedly loves?"

They all rolled there eyes. Gadzooks! Just answer the question you fools.

"Georgia. He didn't tell us. It's obvious. Dave has loved you ever since the time you used him to get Robbie. Despite all that, he still loves you. I honestly don't know what he is thinking. If you used me I wou-"

"Jas please shut up." She got all hufty and excluded herself from the conversation. That was easy. Now if I could just get rid of the other 4...

"And besides, boys don't talk about their feelings." That would explain how every time Dave has told me he loves me, he goes all ramblely and changes the subject or shoves a big red nose on his face. Hahahaha. Still makes me laugh now.

"Hahahaha." Now they are all staring at me life confused things in confused land talking a trip to confused city. Now they have all turned and walked away. Maybe because I scared them off. Probably because the bell just went. At least they have stopped talking to me. I will not think about he who must not be named (But it starts with D and ends in ave) to prevent further reminders of this conversation. I will be seeing Dave after school and then we can straighten all this out then.

**R.E**

How long can this go on for? Miss Wilson must have shocked even herself in what she is wearing today. She is walking around like she has been electrocuted. It's not much different from any other day but this is a full blown stuck-her-finger-in-a-plug-socket walking. She is wearing yellow (and I mean head to toe in yellow, even yellow tights. Blimey O'Reilly.) Quite funny actually but I keep reminding myself of he who must not be named. Please do not tell me you have forgotten because I don't want to remind myself. That is the whole reason for me calling him 'he who must not be named'. Though it's not doing a good job. Hmph.

Rosie and Jas keep looking at me and then when I see them looking they look away. I will send them a note to show them I am being mature about this whole situation:

_Dear Viking and Vole_

_I am not going to remind you 'He who must not be named' doesn't love me (Which by the by, he doesn't) and I will prove it to you after school. But for right now, I would appreciate it if you don't keep staring like starey things at me when I am trying to learn about the great Buddha. I take great pride in R.E and you are disturbing my energy flow._

_Georgia._

I don't even know if any of that made any sense? Ho hum pigs bum. They should get the message.

**1 minute later**

Got a note back from Jas and Rosie:

_Dear Georgia_

_Please tell us you are not going to ask someone to ask Dave. He will never admit it to someone. Like we said, boys don't do feelings._

_From Viking and Jas (Jas didn't like being called Vole.)_

Ok. They are getting on my nerves now. How stupid do they think I am? Get someone to ask Dave! Ha.

Sent note back:

_Dear Viking and Po_

_Of course I am not going to ask someone to ask Dave. I know I am sometime stupid but you can at least give me some credit on this situation. I am going to ask Dave. Straight from the horses mouth if what I say. Sometimes. _

_Georgia._

**2 minutes later**

They are staring at me with wide eyes and their famous fish expressions. I've got to them now. Ha. But if Dave won't admit it to his friends like Ro-Ro and Jas said, would he admit it to me? Well there is only one way to find out, I suppose.

**15 minutes later**

Who knows Buddha could be so boring? Me that's who and the other 25 people in the class. Obviously not including Miss Wilson. She thinks Buddha is a saint.

"In Buddhism, the term Buddha is used when someone has become enlightened awakened to the truth if you like."

She is defiantly not a Buddha. If she was awakened to the truth, she would be scared by her own fashion sense. Everyone else is.

**Out of the torcher chambers**

Right. If the boys are there, I will talk to Dave and see if he is still talking to me after Saturday night, and then, if he is, I will ask him the question.

Jas and Rosie are walking the other side of the chain to me but they are going to be keeping a close ear.

**2 minutes later**

There they are. Oh. My. God. Oh My God. Dave looks gorgey today. Even in his school uni. Even with his tie round his head (Which makes him look like a complete fool but hey ho.) No. Get out thoughts of Dave. You want Masimo, you luuurve Masimo, Masimo is your one and only. Learn to control yourself red bottom.

All at once, like usual, all the girls go to snog their boyfriends and it's me, Rosie and Dave walking in front. Everyone else is behind us doing...well do I really have to tell you?

"Hey Chicks. How's it grooving?"

I love it how Dave can make me feel better even after a merde day.

"Greeeeat. How about you Georgia?" Rosie said wither her eyebrows raised. What with her and raising her eyebrows?

"Fine as a fine thing on fine land." And I gave Rosie a smile. Dave just looked like he didn't know what was going on. I can't ask him with Rosie clinging on like a cling on. I will have to find someway of making her leave. Hmmmm...

**2 minutes later**

No need. Sven came bounding up, put Rosie over his shoulder and carried her off. I sometime find myself wondering what happens in his mind but then I find myself thinking I don't want to know.

No I can ask Dave. I will start of with another question. No good diving right in, right?

"Dave? Do you mind that I am with Masimo? That is if I still am."

Not exactly what I was hoping for but it's ok, I suppose.

He said, with a strain on his voice "No. Why would I be?"

"It's just something the girls have said to me that all. Nothing to worry about." But he did look worried.

I will ask him. I won't ask him. But I have to know. I am full of confusnosity. Right, here it goes...

"Dave?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you..."

_**A/N: I thorght that would be a good place to leave it. Will she ask him? Won't she ask him? It's all so confusing. Anyway please review and then I will write some moreeeee!**_

_**P.s. Does it say anywhere in the books where Georgia lives or where Georgia's granddad lives? Please tell me if you know. I can't remember reading it but I just want to be sure.**_


	2. Living in a box and working in Maccy D's

**A/N: Sorry it has taken sooo long. School has been mad since I have gone back. But here it is and I will make sure (with lots and lots of reviews) I will post the next chappie super quick ;) **

**P.s. I have changed the plot to something I think all you chums will have more enjoyment reading. The nub is the same but it just involves different people doing different things. And new characters ;)**

**Chapter 2 – Living in a box and working in Maccy D's.**

**Previously...**

"_It's just something the girls have said to me that all. Nothing to worry about." But he did look worried._

_I will ask him. I won't ask him. But I have to know. I am full of confusnosity. Right, here it goes..._

"_Dave?"_

"_Hmmmm?"_

"_Do you..."_

**Monday 19th September **

"Do you love me?" I can't believe I just asked him that. I can't believe I allowed myself to ask him that. What have I done? Merde. Merde. Poo and merde. He stopped walking. Crappio.

"Hahahaha!"

I wasn't expecting that. I think by the way he acted after his random laughing fit he wasn't either. I stared at him until he realised then I looked away.

Why did he laugh? Did he laugh because he thorght 'Good grief this girl is dumb' and that he deffo doesn't love me (which he doesn't, I think) or did he laugh because he was thinking 'It took her long enough to notice.'

Merde. Triple merde. Now I am even more confused and worried then before.

"Should I take that well?"

"Coming Rollo!" And he ran off towards Jools and Rollo who didn't look too pleased when it disturbed their snogging.

What? Rollo didn't even call him. He was using that as a plan whatsit to get away from the awkward conversation. Why didn't I think of that? Just when you think I have reached new levels of stupidosity by actually asking him, I wish I never did. How stupid is that? Very is the answer I think you are looking for.

Does he love me or not? He could have at least answered my question to save me all this confusnosity.

**10 seconds later**

"Did you ask him Gee?"

What? What? Did Dave tell everyone I just asked him if he loved me? And now Radio Jas knows and I am going to be known as a fool of the first waters with all boy type people because I can't keep my big trap shut. Well it's not as big as my nose but a close second.

"Yes."

She stared at me with wide eyes. Shut up staring you big knickered fool.

"You asked him? I can't believe you have asked him. Did you seriously ask him because you might think you did but really you said something else because you wanted to ask him? Are you sure you asked him?"

"YES JAS I ASKED HIM!" Okay. Maybe that was a little loud. I hope he didn't hear. Or anyone else heard either. Dave is walking at the back and everyone else is doing 3 guesses what. I don't think you even need 3 guesses but it just shows how kind I am to all mon pallys.

She looked quite scared actually. Ha. She was walking along muttering to herself. Mutter on...mutterer.

**2 minutes later**

How long can she mutter to herself. I'm surprised she has anything more to say.

**1 minute later**

She has gone back to Hunky. Was ist der point? She comes up to me, disturbs my thorght train which was taking a nice long trip through my brain, starts making a load of nothing and then goes back to snog her boyfriend. She has no pridenosity. Or carenosity.

**5 minutes later**

Dave hasn't walked home. Well he has, but he hasn't gone his usual way with me. Fine Mr laughy laugh. I don't need you to have a good time walking home. I am alone, party of one and all that jazz.

**30 seconds later**

Christ on a moped i'm double bored with knobs on. I wonder if I can get any people to honk at me (Oo-er) if I do my hip hip hair flicky flick walk.

**1 second later**

Hip hip, hair flick, more hips. This is hard work.

**10 seconds later**

Success. One honk. Not my best work but hey ho.

**2 minutes later**

Crap. In all this commotion about Dave, I haven't even thorght about Masimo. I wonder where he went after the gig. I wonder if he has forgiven me. Please Big G let him forgive me. I will call him when I get home and face the wrath.

Not from Masimo, from Dad. If he thinks I will be on the phone to one of the Ace gang as soon as I get in from school I will have to suffer his beardy whatsit and questioning about why I spend half my life on the phone. It's not as if I can have a civilized conversation with Mutti or Vati, and talking to Libby is like talking to Angus or Gordy (I.e. Not very successful) and that's not good in anyone's books.

**Home**

Finally home. I will have to call Masimo. I can hear Mutti and Vati in the lounge doing only Big G and his disciples know what. I will not be a witness to parent porn and go in there. So I will take this opportunity to call him in peace. Speaking of peace, where is Libby? Who knows, who cares?

**Ringing Masimo**

Ringing. Ringing. Good grief pick up the phone.

**2 minutes later**

He didn't pick up. I might have to call Jas and do some digging. Not literally you petit idiots because a) there is nothing to dig especially by a phone and b) I don't have anything to dig with. I suppose I could dig with a spoon like they did in old days when shovels didn't exist. Vati should know what I mean, he is old enough.

**Ringing Jas**

Ringing. Ringing. Doesn't anyone want to talk to me in my time of need?

"Hello?" She sounds different. Oh well.

"Finally. What took you so long? Had trouble detaching yourself from Hunky's mouth?"

"Georgia? Is that you?" Crappio! It's Tom. What to do? What to do? Play it cool Georgia. Errm....

"Libby. Get away from the phone. What have I told you? The phone costs money which Daddy can't pay for."

I managed to snatch the phone back off Libby and she went skipping of with some scissors. I really should sop her but I don't know if I can be bothered.

"Sorry about that. Is Jas there?"

"Nice save Georgia. I'll get her for you." It could have worked for anyone. Anyone who doesn't have a mentally insane sister who instead of dialling a number a talking like a half sane person, would probably eat the phone instead. I wouldn't put it past her.

"Georgia. I am not always attached to Tom's mouth."

"I really don't need to know about what you and Tom get up to. I have already almost been a witness to parent porn and I don't really want vole porn either."

"Georgia. What do you want? I am very busy loo-"

"I wanted to know if you have heard from a certain Hunky if he has heard from a certain Guitar Plucker if he has heard from a certain Italian Stallion if he is angry with me about Saturday night?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was Georgia. You really are a tart. And I still can't believe you asked Dave if he loves you. Did you really ask him?" I'm feeling a bit of déjà vu coming on here.

"Jas. I am not going over this again. Just please tell me if you have found out anything and then I will be on my merry way." She got huffy then. I could tell because I could practically hear her fiddling with her fringe down the phone. Blimey O'Reilly.

"No I haven't. Now I have to go before I am forced to come over there and biff you for interrupting mine and Tom's alone time."

And she hung up on me. Alone time? Oo-er. And why would she biff me? If anything I should really biff her. She is the one who would rather spend her time with her boyfriend then her best friend. Well I will do the same and see how she likes it.

**1 second later**

One problem. I don't know if I still have a boyfriend. Hmph. I think I may have to go and do some mad dancing in my room to lift my spirits and turn my attention away from all laughs, best friends and Italians.

**In my room**

I am now vair vair tuckered. Dancing takes alot out of you. I think I may have to take a trip to bobo land.

**2 minutes later**

Fat chance. I have found Angus. And Gordy. And Libby. In my bed. As soon as I got in Angus savaged my feet. Followed by Gordy. Followed by Libby. I question her sanity. Sometimes. Most of it is just suspected.

**2 minutes later**

With the bad out of the question, I think I may be forced to actually do some homework.

I think I must be coming down with something.

**10 minutes later**

Doorbell.

"Georgie, Honey, can you get that?"

Unbebloodylieveable. As soon as I actually take somewhat of an interest in my learning, my Mutti disturbs me for something as little as to answer the door. Does she know what this can do you my education? I could fail all my exams and wind up living in a box at the side of the road and working in Maccy D's just because I answered the door. Then Masimo will deffo dump me and he will be a big star and I will be a tramp, just because I answered the door. Hmph.

**At the door**

Om my giddy god. It's Masimo. He looks marvy and phwoarr and gorgey and...I'm still in my school uni. He might think I am a little child, still going to school. He might realise I am too young for him. Merde.

"Ciao, Georgia. I must speak with you. Meet me in the park, Friday at 7."

And he smiled his gorgey smile, and walked his gorgey walk and I fished my gorgey fish impression. Not exactly what I call gorgey but he still wants to see me.

**1 second later**

What does he mean I must speak with you? Should I be worried. No. I am not going to be worried because the Lurrrve God still loves me! Yesss!

Unless he is thinking about breaking up with me. Maybe that is what he meant by I must speak with you.

Now I am really having a nervy b. Please Big G and Lord Sandra don't make him break up with me. He is the boy I love. I think. Anyway, I have hardly been with him and it would not be fair to waste all the time I have actually spent with him. Which is about 1 month but alot has happened in that month that would be a waste like, erm, y'know, snogging.

**1 minute later**

Come to think of it, that is all we ever do. I mean, that's all fair in love and whatsit but I do that with Dave. So do I love Dave just because I snog him? But I also have a laugh with Dave. I could have a laugh with Masimo if I could understand half of what he says. He makes this relationship very difficult. How selfish of him.

I still love him though. I think.

**5 minutes later**

Now what to wear for Friday. This could be the day he forgives me for being a red bottomed minx, but this could also be the day he breaks up with me. I think I should wear black. I would look casual without any hint of me suspecting I will be mourning the loss of my Italian Stallion, and it is also full of sophisticosity and it looks tres tres groovy with my new black pumps. Marvy.

**2 minutes later**

I can hear Libby in her room giving Gordy a 'Haircut'. Every now and again I can hear alot of banging (Oo-er, not like that you rudey dudey people!) and the occasional 'Gordy, get back here bad boy. Snip Snip. You look a gorgus kitty.' Good grief. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. I would feel alot more for him if he didn't savage my feet earlier.

**5 seconds later**

Gordy has escaped and if now hurling himself at my bedroom door and making a racket at the same time. I will never sleep in these conditions. I will ha- zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ.

**Tuesday 20****th**** September**

**8.15am**

Bugger it. Late again. Jas won't be very happy. And by that I mean she will be fringe licking extrodinaire by the time I get to her house. Not to mention the walk to school.

**5 minutes later**

No time for make up. I am going to be bearing all. Grabbed what I could call breakfast. What I could call breakfast, but instead I call it air.

**8.30am**

Jas is still at her wall. Normally by now if I am this late she is already half way to the school. Maybe she is finally realising she is taking far too much notice in her boyfriend and realises she needs to spend some time with her mates. Well I am going to eschew her with a firm hand and say 'I am not going to be second best to Hunky. I refuse to be used as a past time.' And then ask for her midget gems as an apology.

"Hey Jas. I need to talk to you. I am not going to be sec-"

"Shut up and listen Georgia."

"Jas. If you are going to rant at me for being late again, I get enough from Hawkeye. She can be a rea-"

"Georgia. Please just listen to me."

She sounds serious. He eyes go really wide and her nose goes red when she is being serious. Full of hilarosity but I can't laugh or she might bite my head off. And I need my head to, well, live.

"Tom has been talking to Dave and he told me in confidence and he is trusting me not to tell anyone tha-"

"Well that was a mistake. Does he realise how you got the nickname Radio Jas if it isn't obvious enough already. I always thorght Tom was quite the smart cookie but lately he has been real-"

"He told Tom."

"Told Tom what?

"Georgia, Dave loves you."

**A/N: I thorght that would be another good place to leave it. I will try and post the next chappie soon but I will write for my other story first as I haven't wrote that one in like forever and a day.**

**Please ****review**** and tell me what you think.**

**P.s. Thanks to everyone who helped me with where they live. But I don't think I will need to use it anymore as I have changed the plot. But thanks anyway.**

**Maria x**


	3. C'est le grand mystery

_**Obviously My Camel's not good enough.**_

**A/N: Like I said in my last Authors Note, since I have been really cruel not been updating I am going to write more frequently and longer chappies ;) I will try every week, maybe every Sunday :) **

**So here it is...**

**Previously...**

"_Georgia. Please just listen to me."_

_She sounds serious. He eyes go really wide and her nose goes red when she is being serious. Full of hilarosity but I can't laugh or she might bite my head off. And I need my head to, well, live._

"_Tom has been talking to Dave and he told me in confidence and he is trusting me not to tell anyone tha-"_

"_Well that was a mistake. Does he realise how you got the nickname Radio Jas if it isn't obvious enough already. I always thorght Tom was quite the smart cookie but lately he has been real-"_

"_He told Tom."_

"_Told Tom what?_

"_Georgia, Dave loves you."_

**Chapter 3 – C'est le grand mystery.**

**1 minute later**

What? What? This can't be happening. Not now. Blimey O'Reilly.

I have only just found out my Italian Stallion may want to forgive me for being a red bottomed minx and then Dave decides to spill his heart to Hunky that he does in fact love me. What in the name of Big G's polka dotted panties and I going to do now?

**10 seconds later**

I'll tell you what I am not going to do. See Dave. Because if I see Dave, I will most likely snog him, and if I snog him I will risk the chance of losing Masimo...again.

**1 minute later**

Right, I have decided Operation avoid all things laugh starts now.

**2 minutes later**

"GEORGIA! Why are you ignoring me?"

How longs has she been standing here looking at me like the twit she is for?

"Okay Jas. Don't get your knickers in a twist. That may be the end of you as we know it. If you get them in a twist, you may disappear. You know wha-"

"GEORGIA!"

"Christ Jas. You're standing right next to me. What did you say?"

She got all huffy then and flicked her fringe like a huffy, fringe flicking person would. "I said...What are you going to do about it?"

Should I tell her about Operation Avoid all things laugh? If I do, she will broadcast it to everyone, including Hunky of course, and then Hunky might tell Dave. Dave will get the message to leave me alone and then I will have my Luuurve God and everything will be fine and dandy. Ish. Perfectamondo.

"I am going to avoid Dave. It's the only way. If I see Dave, I lose Masimo."

She stared at me. I think I may have to walk away to avoid biffing her.

**1 minute later**

She has caught up with me and she is still staring at me. Do I have a lurker that I didn't see this morning? Merde. Where's the mirror? I need to be quick as a quick thing in quick land in case I bump into Dave. Err...I mean Masimo.

Right. The short and short of it is that I don't want to bump into any good looking guys with a lurker on my face.

**1 minute later**

I'm ok on the lurker front. But it still doesn't explain what Miss Fussy Pants is staring at me for?

**10 seconds later**

She is still staring. She's standing so close I am quite tempted to poke her eyes out with my two fingers. You know like people do when they are doing that 'I'm watching you' thing, if you know what I am talking about and I think you do. But if I do do that, she may viciously attack me and I need all my limbs in perfect condition for when I go and meet Masimo. Well, all I would need is my lips. But you know what they say. A good relationship will only revolve around good err...snogging.

**10 seconds later**

Okay. 'They' is me. I say that (sometimes) but hey ho.

**20 seconds later**

Right. I can't take this anymore. If I can't poke out her eyes, I will have to take a new approach.

"WHAT YOU FRINGEY FOOL?!"

Ha. That made her jump. She is still staring, but a completely different stare now. Not the 'Oh-my-god-what-did-you-just-say' type of stare but more of the 'your-not-getting-your-share-of-mini-gems' stare. And believe me, there is such a stare. It's all in the eyebrow movements.

**1 minute later**

Your eyebrows can say alot for two hairy things that sit above your eyes and do, well, nothing.

**10 seconds later**

Was ist der point in eyebrows? I mean did someone just go around with over-active hair growth cream and splat some on top of their eyes and say 'By George, I haveth created sucheth magnificent discovery, eth. I shall calleth them eyebrows.'

I think not.

**10 seconds later**

Ow. Bloody ow. She kicked me in the shin and then huffed off. What in the name of the Prince Harry's ginger locks was that for?

**2 seconds later**

Well at least i'm alone. Happy Days!

**Hell Headquarters (School)**

Jas is waiting for me at the gate. Only because she will be all aloney on her owny and she has to come crawling back to me. Not literally you fool's because that would be odd and would make her look like a complete twit which she is. Anyway, she has realised she has to wait for her bestest pally because she has no one else. Sweet really. I would find it sweeter if I didn't have a bruise on my leg. She should think about these things.

"Georgia? Why are you choosing to avoid Dave? It's not the only way."

"Jas, mon petit nincompoop. Like I said, I will lose Masimo. And then maybe Dave will see the brighter side, he can go on seeing Emma and we can be best friendy type friends and then everything will go back to the way it was before." If you ask me, I am le genius of the first waters...and all the rest of the waters too.

"Georgia. You should know better than anyone else a boy and a girl can't just be best buds."

And what does she mean by that? I will ask her that too.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean!"

Apparently.

"Honestly Gee! You can't ignore Dave. You and him were never just best friends. There was always something more and you know it. The way you act when you are together shows that you love him too."

Why does she have to be so... observant? And wrong. Definitely wrong, but observant. Hmph.

I am going to walk away with the pridenosity I still have left. Ha.

**1 minute later**

Me love Dave? Pfft. What does she know? I do not love Dave.

If I love Dave then Slim is...slim, i.e. Never going to happen.

**German**

Jas is now ignoring me. Suit herself. I don't need her constant rambling to get some half decent advice. I have a wise Viking woman and Dither Queen to help me through the times when a friend in need is a friend...in need? Because that would be a pretty pointless saying if a friend in need wasn't a friend in need. Anyway, you get my nub. I am a friend and I am in need.

"So...you are just...y'know...going to avoid...err...Dave?"

"That's the plan mon amigos. I think."

Rosie stared at Ellen. Ellen stared at Rosie for all of a split second and then down at her work. Since when did Ellen, or anyone for that matter, suddenly take an interest in the Kocks or anything remotely German?

**1 minute later**

Ah, I see. Rosie has brought out her beard. I have now been enlightened to how truly wonderful the Kocks really are.

"So my petit Viking-to-be, you are going to avoid Dave?" Then she did that thing where you move your eyebrows both together in a squiggle line. Like the Mexican wave but with your eyebrows. You know what I mean? No? Who cares?

"Uh hum."

She then biffed me. What is this? As if my life isn't bad enough, I get attacked every time I mention anything to do with Dave and my master plan. Actually, no, I lie. I get attacked every time someone else mentions anything to do with Dave and my master plan.

"You know that won't work you fool."

Why do people keep telling me this? I will make it work if I have to.

"Why do people keep telling me this?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

I have now raised my eyebrows to their highest point and dipped my head a little to show Rosie I am being serious and don't have the foggiest about what she is going on about.

"Err...No reason."

I though I saw Rosie roll her eyes at me, but I couldn't be sure. Roll your eyes you...eye roller.

**1 minute later**

Y'know with everyone asking me about Dave and all this commotion makes me think. Is there something really obvious that everyone knows except moi?

**1 minute later**

Who knows? Who cares?

**Break**

I have now decided since the last biffing episode I am not going to talk to anyone. I will be like that girl in that book who doesn't talk because she doesn't want to tell people about her experiences if you know what I am talking about and I think you do. And anyway, like I said I need all my limbs.

"Georgia. Do you think-"

"Look Jas, I am trying to concentrate on not talking and you are not helping." That will show Jas. Trying to trick me into talking to her. Well it's not going to work.

"But you just talked?"

"Jas. Pleas-"

"And again."

"Jas. P-"

"And again."

With all my grown-uposity and maturosity, I poked my tongue out at her and walked away.

**1 minute later**

I have no where to go. I might have to go and hang about in the tarts wardrobe to pass the time. Hmph.

**Tarts Wardrobe **

I had forgotten how comfortable it is sitting on a loo seat legs crossed especially when you have that big block thing digging into your back. What is that even for anyway? And for all the dim people who think it is comfortable, it's not.

**1 minute later**

Oh Christ on a bike. Lindsay just walked in and ADM is with her to. And she's...crying? She might have looked in the mirror and seen how weedy she really is. Then she might respect everyone enough to walk around with a bag on her head. Yeah, we should be so lucky.

I must use my superb listening skills (pushing my head really hard against the toilet door) and see what she is talking about.

"And I can't believe..." Sniff sniff. "...he is leaving and..." Sniff sniff. "...he won't even..." Sniff sniff. "...listen to me..." Sniff sniff.

Oh drone on droner. She has nothing better to do then cry over...What is she crying over?

Then ADM said "I can't believe he is going back to Italy. And leaving you. What a loser."

**10 seconds later**

She knows how to insult someone. I mean-

**2 seconds later**

Wait! What did she just say? Going back to Italy? She can't mean Masimo can she?

"Don't worry Linds. You'll find someone better then Masimo."

Oh my giddy god. She can!

**1 second later**

What does she mean Lindsay can find someone better than Masimo. Masimo is mine. All miney.

**10 seconds later**

But why didn't he tell me he is going back to Pizza-a-go-go land? I'm the one he is with. He should have told me first. He had his chance on Monday and he didn't tell me.

I am such a complete spaz. And when I say that I hope none of you nincompoops agree with me because that would be vair vair mean of you all and not the type of behaviour I expect from all of my so-called pallies. Anyway, where was I before I so rudely dudely interrupted myself? Oh yes. How could I forget? Masimo. This is what he wanted to talk to me about. But he sounded really happy when he came to my house, not like he was going to leave his one and only to go back to Italy. C'est le grand mystery.

**R.E.**

I have to consult the Ace Gang once again for a solution to le grand mystery. I know I could probably after thinking long and hard about it, work it out for myself but I can't be bothered. And plus 6 heads are better then 1. Sometimes.

Not literally because actually, I would rather have 1 head than 6. Wouldn't that be just a little bit awkward having more than one head? Imagine trying to snog someone. You wouldn't know which head they were going for, which head to use and-

Shutupshutupshutup.

**10 seconds later**

"Maybe she knows another Masimo?"

Needless to say who that came from but for all you petite idiots who don't know her name starts with J and ends in as.

Jools said "Another Masimo that knows Wet Lindsay and is Italian? I don't think so." Everyone nodded in agreement except Jas who started her fringe flicking frenzy. Her FFF, if you will. And you will because I can't write fringe flicking frenzy over and over and over again. That is just unnecessary work.

The Ellen said "Maybe he isn't going...err... back to Italy."

Everyone completely ignored that sentence. If he isn't going back to Italy, why was Lindsay crying over him going back to Italy? Ellen can be a few buds short of a plant sometimes.

**5 seconds later**

"Maybe he...err... isn't going back to Italy." She said again. I looked at her and raised one eyebrow and frowned at the same time which I don't think is easy to do and look some what sane at the same time. If Ellen's reaction is anything to go by, I think I looked quite scary.

"What are you talking about Ellen?"

"Well, he might be really tired of Lindsay all over him all the time and since he is your boyfriend, he might not feel comfortable with her. He might just be using Italy as an excuse to get rid of her."

Blimey O'Reilly. Is it me, or did Ellen just say something...without stammering?

All of us are staring at Ellen in disbelief. Everyone's eyes are popping out there sockets and their mouths hanging open. I like to think we look attractive but then again, I don't think fishes are that attractive.

I know I should take some interest in what she just said as it was some what intelligent but if that was the case, he would have to make sure Lindsay didn't see him at all when he was supposed to be in Italy. And that defiantly wouldn't work. However, I will take Ellen's theory and apply it to this situation. Anyway, Masimo could never leave me. He would be heartbroken. And so would I...I think?

**Walking home**

As soon as we got out the school gates it was like a song fest and I had front row seats...unfortunately. Can't they, for the sake of human kind, not do that in front of the general public? And by the general public I mean me. Don't they know I am in a dire state of depressnosity as my boyfriend may well be leaving me to go back Pizza-a-go-go land?

There is no telling some people.

**1 minute later**

I am walking with Ro-Ro and we are discussing my meeting with Masimo on Friday.

"What if he is leaving and he is planning to tell me on Friday? How should I react? Should I beg him to stay? Should I break down and cry? Should I kidnap him and take him-"

**1 second later**

Ow. Rosie just elbowed me in the ribs. She has a hefty elbow. Ow.

"Oi. What was that for?"

"Subject 001 approaching."

What? I question her sanity. Alot. What does she mean Subject 001?

"Hey Kittykat."

Oh. It's only Dave.

**2 seconds later**

Dave! Oh Giddy God. Err...operation avoid all things laughy. Right. Brain to mouth, brain to mouth. Don't talk to him whatever you do!

"Coming Jas!"

I ran like a loon on loon tablets and practically landed on Jas and Hunky. I don't think they appreciate me interrupted their snogging session but times like this call for interrupting best friends and snogging.

"So Jas, about that blodge project. Is it true that a millipede has countless amounts of legs?"

Huff. Puff. "No Georgia. A millipede has 130 pairs of legs."

I looked at her as to say 'I am using you to get away from a laugh. Stop talking before I fall asleep.' In other words, I just pulled my eyebrows really close and shook my head slowly. It worked though. Dave turned and walked with Rollo and Jools. He looked like a fool as they were snogging and he was walking at the side like a goosegog extrodinaire. That shows him, trying to mess with my plan. Ha.

"That's 260 legs, Georgia."

Is she still here?

"Jas. Please. I know what 140 times 2 is. I am not a complete fool."

"You could've fooled me. Now please go away."

That's nice isn't it? That's the last time I pretend i'm interested in something remotely to do with nature. Hmph.

**Walking on my owny**

I am finally away from everyone. Including Dave. And all it took was crouching down behind Sven with Rosie on his back. I even got accused of looking up Rosie's skirt...by Rosie.

Rosie, and everyone else on the planet, now thinks I am a lesbian. I don't know why, but I don't think it helps that she shouted it every 10 seconds while being thrown around by a Viking Mad Man.

**Home**

Everyone out. Quelle surprise.

**1 minute later**

All that avoiding Dave has made me really hungry. Let's see if we have an improvement from air in the cupboards.

**30 seconds later**

Mouldy Bread. I think i'll stick to the air.

**In my room**

I have a letter. And it's from Masimo.

**1 minute later**

Crap! What if he is breaking up with me? He wouldn't do that in a letter, would he?

**10 seconds later**

Right. Opening the letter...now.

**10 seconds later**

Now.

**10 seconds later**

I have opened the letter. I'm too afraid to look. Right Georgia. Take the bull by the horns and read the letter, the worst that could happen is that he tells you he loves you and is leaving you. Yeah you'll cry for a little while but you will get over it...

Okay. It says:

_Georgia_

_I need to speak with you quickly. Please call when you see this._

_Masimo x_

Call him? What happened to meet him in the park? I can't organise an outfit that quickly.

**10 seconds later**

Okay. So I don't need to worry about him seeing me but just in case. We could have one of those relationships where one of the people is like really obsessed with the other that they see them in their minds so I would have to put on something nicer. But that would sort of make Masimo a stalker and he is deffo not a stalker. I hope.

What am I talking about? He is deffo not a stalker.

**2 minutes later**

There is no one in the house. I am all good. Not that anyone would be able to get in if Angus or Gordy were in the house. Or Libby.

**2 minute later**

If there is one thing I know, I have to change. This school uniform will just remind Masimo I am a child and then he will almost deffo break up with me. I need some advice.

**Calling Jas**

Why am I calling Jas if I want advice? The closest thing I am going to get to advice from Jas is how to tie up a knot the right way. How many ways can there be to tie up a knot? Anyway, I can't be bothered to listen and quick frankly I don't have time.

But right now, she is the best I have. I suppose.

**10 seconds later**

Ringing. Ringing. Why doesn't she answer the bloody phone?

"Hello."

"About time! I know you have alot on your busy schedule that consist of snogging Tom and Rabbit droppings but you have a friend in need here and she is having a nervy B and you take a long time to-"

"Georgia? Is that you, love?"

Crap. Its Jas's mum. What should I do?

"Mon erreur. Au revoir."

And I slammed the phone down. With any luck, she will think I am a confused French woman and not call back.

**1 minute later**

Phone's ringing.

I will have to put back on an accent in case it is Jas's mum calling back.

"Hellloooor?"

"Georgia. What's wrong with you?"

Oh. It's only Jas.

"Hello to you too, bestest o' pal of mine."

"Georgia. What do you want because i'm really-"

"Yeah, I know Jas. Doing homework, snogging Tom, blah blah blah. Back to me. Masimo said to call him."

Silence.

"Jas?"

"Hmmm?" Is she even listening to me? I feel ashamed to have to repeat myself.

"Masimo said to call him."

Silence.

"JAS!"

"Georgia! Don't shout! I can hear you!"

"Well then, what should I do?"

"What do you think?"

Is she a complete spaz? What do I think? If I knew what to do, I wouldn't waste my precious time calling her, would I? I will tell her that to.

"Jas, If I knew what to do, I wouldn't be calling you, would I?" I left out other bits because I actually need help and if I insult her I don't think she will help me.

"Well he said call him."

"Thank you for that Astronaut Obvious. If you would like to return to Earth now that would be marvy."

She's all huffy now. Serve's her right playing dumb with me. She knows I am in dire state of confusnosity.

"Well if your going to be like that then-"

"No Jas, please. I need your help."

"He said call him Georgia. So call him?"

Okay, it's official. Jas is the worst to ask for advice. I am better off talking to Ditherqueen. Although she has lost her ditherness. Hey! I am better off talking to her.

"I can't call him."

"Why not? That's what he wants?"

"If I call him, he might break up with me."

"He knows what's good for him then."

Then she hung up on me. What? Doesn't she say bye anymore? And what's with her saying 'He knows what's good for him?' This is not the behaviour I expect of a best friend. Appalling really.

**5 minutes later**

I have been sitting beside the phone deciding whether to call Masimo or not. If he doesn't break up with me, we can carry on being our normal happy couply type selves, snogging and what not and if he does break up with me, I will hate Jas even more for not helping me in my time of need and for telling me to call him.

Right, I am going to call him.

**Calling Masimo**

It's ringing. It's ringing. Oh Big G! What am I doing? Should I hang up? I think I should hang up. Should I?

"Ciao."

Bugger.

"Err...Hi Masimo. It's err...Georgia." That's great isn't it? Ellen has lost her dither bug and gave it to me instead. What are friends for?

"Ciao, Miss Georgia. You got my letter?"

No. I have a touch of Mystic Meg about me and sensed you wanted to talk to me.

"Yes. Si. I did. So, what did you want to talk about?"

"I have a problema. I am needed back in Italy. My mother is ill and she needs me now."

Is he breaking up with me? He is breaking up with me. This is all Jas's fault. She told me to call him. I never would have gotten this far if it wasn't for her.

"Oh." My throat was closing itself up and that was all I could squeeze out.

"I have to leave tomorrow night. But, I was thinking, maybe you could come with me."

Oh! He is asking me to go with him. He is not breaking up with me, he is leaving me. But also asking me to go with him.

I could say yes, and say my Vati said yes (Of course give or take him actually saying yes) and I could go to Pizza-a-gogo land and live the high life with my Italian Stallion and no one would be none the wiser. Until of course some one realises I am missing.

However, with my parents, that could take a very long time. I can go and be back before someone in this house realises. Angus will realise before anyone else. Gordy a close second. Libby will have no one to attack with Scuba Diving Barbie so she will realise soon enough, then go back to torturing the kitties.

But that is why you have cats. When your parents don't care what you do, you get a cat, right? At least the cat would miss you. It's really because-

Shutupshutupshutup. You are talking about cats when you have a Italian Stallion on the phone asking you to go away with him and you are so close to saying yes because your parents are not here and-

I can't believe I am doing this.

"I don't think so."

"Oh. That is bad."

There was a long silence. You know one of them long awkward silences where you know if you let your mouth take over you will say something completely stupid but you say it anyway. It was one of them moments. I will have to clamp my hand over my mouth.

"I don't know when I will be back. Maybe in a few months."

"Mommphs?" I forgot to unclamp my mouth. "Months?"

"Si. I am very sorry. I have to go. See you soon, bellissima. Ciao."

And he hung up. He broke up with me. Well not in so many words, but the words he did use was enough.

**Lying in Bed**

I have been thinking long and hard about this whole fandango with Masimo and the going back to Pizza-a-gogo thing and I have come to the conclusion that, he did break up with me, but not because he doesn't like me anymore or he prefers a Weed. Because his mum needs him. And soon (in a few Mommphs) he will be back and it will be like he never left.

Unless he finds someone else. And brings them back to show them off to me and Lindsay. Not that I care what Lindsay thinks about this whole situation.

He did break up with me.

**10 minutes later**

I have been sitting here for 10 minutes in a failed attempt to make myself cry and it's not working. That must mean I wasn't in love with him, right?

**1 minute later**

Masimo is not in love with you Georgia. He hates you and your big, big nose.

**10 seconds later**

Nothing. Hmph.

**10 minutes later**

Swiss family mad are home. Just what I need.

**10.30 pm**

They have been home for 30 minutes and no one has come in my room?

Could this actually mean they care about my peace and privacy? They are actually giving their emotionally traumatised daughter some thought?

That they are not going to come in and interrogate me to within an inch of my life and send the mad 4 year old to jump on me half to death? Not to mention sending the kitties to come and savage my feet every time I move an inch.

This could be a revolution.

**A/N: So what do you think? Sorry if it wasn't as good as my other chapters but I will try and make it better as it goes on. I haven't wrote in a while and need some time to adjust again :P**

**Please ****review**** and tell me if I need to make it better or just tell me what you think. Thanks :) **

**Maria xx**


	4. Laughing spaz to end all spazzes

_**Obviously My Camel's not good enough.**_

**A/N: OMG! It's been over a year since I last updated! And the last thing I wrote was that I was going to start updating every week! I am so sorry. At first I was going to but then I would start and then stop and then I guess I just stopped altogether. But this year I've had exams and all that rubbish so I couldn't just start finishing these stories. But I am going to now. It's the holidays and I don't actually have any plans so it's a perfect time to write :)**

**I don't even know if any of the people who started reading this story when I first published it is still even reading stories on here anymore but I hope you are because I feel really bad :(**

**From now on, I will try to update as soon as possible, but I am going to be doing a few more chapters on this one before I go back to my other one. It's just because it will take too long to re-read the stories, work out new plots (because I have forgotten my old ones :S) and then write the chapters. But I will finish it :)**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

**P.s. It will get better; I just need to get back into the writing groove :)**

**Previously...**

_I have been thinking long and hard about this whole fandango with Masimo and the going back to Pizza-a-gogo thing and I have come to the conclusion that, he did break up with me, but not because he doesn't like me anymore or he prefers a Weed..._

_...He did break up with me._

_I have been sitting here for 10 minutes in a failed attempt to make myself cry and it's not working. That must mean I wasn't in love with him, right?_

**Chapter 4 – Laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes**

**Wednesday 21st September**

**7.00**

Up at a decent time to my own surprise. I think it's because of all that's happened and my confusnosity about the whole Masimo leaving fandango.

**1 minute later**

So, if I am losing sleep (because let's face it, I am never up in time for school) and am in a dire state of depressnosity, you think I would at least be able to cry. But no, not one little tear. I am as dry as a dry thing on dry tablets taking a nice long walk down dry lane.

**1 minute later**

You know what? Well of course you don't because I haven't told you yet. But I am not going to waste a perfectly good day, that's what. I am not going to think about a certain Italian Stallion who may or may not have broken up with me yesterday. I am going to focus on the more important things in my life. Like school.

**10 seconds later**

Should I risk the eye shadow for school?

**10 minutes later**

Perfectly perfect day over. I just saw Vati in his pants. And nothing else. Big G, what did I do to deserve that? I know I am not exactly the most pleasant person to talk to and I may have stolen one or two packets of midget gems from Jas' not so secret stash but surely I was not THAT selfish?

**1 minute later**

I can't get the image out of my mind. I don't have time to think about this. I have make up to apply and stallions to forget.

**8.10**

I have decided to make Jas wait a little longer today. After all, it is her fault Masimo broke up with me in the first place. If Jas hadn't been such a crap friend and told me to call Masimo I would still have a Lurrrve God for a boyfriend.

**1 second later **

Well, for 2 more days anyway...

**8.20**

I'm late now. Jas seems to be the cause of all my problems lately. She has no consideration for anything with less than 4 legs. I will have to tell her this when I get to her house.

**At school**

I am redder than a red thing on a red day. And that's vair red. I can't believe Jas just left me to walk on my own. Like I said, no consideration what-so-ever. When I see her, I am going to give her a piece of my mind.

**10 seconds later**

I mean, not literally because that would be rather odd. And I need my entire mind to figure out the mess I am in. I will have to talk to one of my many wise friends and get some advice. But not Jas because 1) she's not wise and 2) she is no longer my friend. She will see that I do not need her. I have many other wise people to talk to.

**R.E**

Talking to Rosie. Or rather she is talking to me and I am pretending to listen. I can't get a word in edgewise. She is being vair vair selfish considering what I have had to put up with the last... 11 hours. See, I am so bored, I am doing maths.

"...and Sven thinks we should do a dance together for the ceremony".

Nod, nod, nodding.

**2 seconds later**

Wait...What did I just nod to? Sven and dancing go together about as well two opposite things that clearly do not go well together at all. What is she even talking about?

"Rosie. What are you talking about?"

**2 seconds later**

She biffed me! Now she has turned to talk to Ellen. As if you can get better conversation out of the dither queen. Fine. I don't need you.

**1 second later **

Lalala.

**1 minute later**

All aloney on my owny. I may as well have just stayed at home. At least I would be ignored in the comfort of my own bed. But instead, I am forced to listen to tales about how Moses parted the Red Sea.

**10 seconds later**

Yeah right. Like someone can do that. And why was the sea red anyway? Who knows, who cares? Not me.

**2 minutes later**

"So Gee. What happened last night with you and Masimo? You know, after you called him?"

Great. Now Voley is talking to me. I am going to tell her what I think and then eschew her with a firm hand.

"You know Jas. You have no consideration for anything with less than 4 legs!"

"So it didn't go well then?"

Is she as dim as a dim person of the first waters? Does she not realise this is her fault?

"Jas! Do you not realise this is your fault?"

"Did you break up?"

"No. He simply left me."

"So he broke up with you then?"

"No Jas. Listen-"

"He broke up with you, didn't he?"

Merde. Did he?

"I don't know."

Jas rolled her eyes at me. Charming. She insists I tell her and that is what you get in return.

**2 seconds later**

Being stared at by 5 gogs, agog as 5 gogs can be.

"Whoa. What happened?"

**5 minutes later**

Just explained everything to the Ace Gang. They are obviously just as confused as moi. Expressions that resemble confused fishes appear quite often. Scarily alike. If you saw what I saw you would think so too.

"So...err...he's like...gone?"

"No. but he will be tonight."

The no more Lurrrve God and my life as I know it will be over. Tell Libby I loved her (sometimes), tell the cats to annoy the prat poodles for forever and a day, tell Mutti to put on some more clothes and tell Vati to shave of the rat on his face.

**2 seconds later**

Still no tears. Hmph.

"Well you know what you have to do then?"

I do?

"I do?"

"Oh yeah."

Rosie is really creepy when she has an idea. She gets this sort of crazed look in her eyes and then starts to menacingly laugh.

**2 seconds later**

No laugh? I guess no idea after all.

**2 seconds later**

"Mwahahahaha!"

Oh dear lord.

"Right, here's what you do mon petit pally..."

**Lunch**

Rosie's plan, despite Rosie, is actually quite sane. I have to convince Masimo to come and meet me in the park after school (I will be in my school uni but that is the risk I am willing to take for Lurrrve.) I will then ask him if we are still together. If he says yes, I will endure the few months of pain that will follow, however the fact that I will be able to see him again will keep me holding on and it will all be worth it. But, if he says no, I will beg. Dignity lost.

**1 second later**

It's quite sane...

**2 minutes later**

Plan 'Find out if Masimo still wants me and if not surrender my dignity' starts at home. I will call him and ask him to meet me and he will say yes...maybe.

**Walking home**

Walking along with Rosie. Actually, I am walking and Rosie is skipping. We have gotten a few odd looks but she is my friend and I will let her embarrass me. That's how good of a friend I am. (And occasionally I will lag behind so nobody thinks I am with her.) As usual everyone is behind us snogging and snogging and snogging and you get the picture. I may have to find Dave and tell him the plan about Masimo and get a guy's perspective.

**2 seconds later**

Poo. I forgot all about the Dave loves me thing. Maybe I shouldn't ask him.

**1 minute later**

But I should at least talk to him, right?

**Walking with Dave**

Rosie isn't too happy that I left her like a goosegog. Haha, it's quite amusant.

**1 second later**

I'll pay for that later.

**2 seconds later**

"Hey Dave."

Nothing. He's not even looking at me. Weird.

"So, what's up?"

"Nothing. Look, I have to go."

And he turned and started walking back the way we just came. He must have forgotten something at school.

**At home**

Before I left the group, Rosie gave me a freaky wink followed by an insane smile. Obviously it was meant for something other than to give me nightmares. But that's not important right now. I have a Lurrrve God to win back.

**Ringing Masimo**

Come on, pick up. What else could you be doing right now other than packing or eating pizza?

**Still Ringing**

Come on!

**Still Ringing**

"Urghh!"

"Ciao?"

Merde.

"Ciao Masimo. It's Georgia."

He's not saying anything. Oh no! He hasn't forgotten me already has he?

"Err...Excuse me, I was packing. I'm sorry. What can I do?"

"I was wondering...I know you are busy but...err..."

What am I doing? I'm doing an Ellen that's what. Just spit it out Georgia!

"Can you meet me? Now. In the park? I need to ask you something. It's important."

"I am really busy."

"It will only take 10 minutes. Promise."

I gave him my sweetest look only to realise he couldn't see me.

"I'll meet you there."

He hung up. Yes, yess and thrice times yesssss! He agreed to meet me. That's got to count for something, I suppose. However, no time to change, must go.

**5 minutes later**

Crappio. He will be there by now and I haven't even left the house. But on the plus side, these new jeans look marvy on me.

**In the park**

He's not even here yet. What if he doesn't come? He probably thought 'What's the point? I'll meet someone better looking than what's her face and she will understand me. She will not be raving mad or have a dulaly family and she will-'

"Ciao Georgia."

"Err...Hi."

Christ Almighty he is marvy looking. I mean he is always marvy looking but it must be the fact that he is leaving and it's making him look even marvier.

Don't get distracted Georgia, straight to the point.

"So why did you want to meet me?"

"Well, the last time we talked, I got a bit confused."

He looked confused. How can I put this simply so that even he can understand?

"Did you dump me?"

Now he looked shocked. Is that a good or bad thing? It might be a bad shock as in 'didn't she get the message when I did actually dump her' or it might be good shock as in 'how could she think I would dump her'?

"Well I think for the best, we should break it. I am so sorry. It will be hard."

Okay. Err...how do I react. Do I pretend to cry? Do I beg him to stay? Pat him on the head, do a little dance? What?

**2 seconds later**

Someone interrupted my thought by shouting. Two people shouting actually. Don't they have any respect for people that are breaking up because one of them people (now I'm not going to go naming names but it starts with M and ends in asimo) is being vair vair selfish and is leaving?

**10 seconds later**

It's getting louder. And on my nerves as a matter of fact.

**1 minute later**

It still hasn't stopped. Good lord. Right, I'm going over there.

**3 minutes later**

I didn't get very far. I turned around took two steps in their direction and dived for the nearest bush. It was Emma shouting. As in Dave's girlfriend and official snogging partner Emma. And it only took a short amount of time (2 minutes of pulling leaves out of my face and twigs from my bum-oley) to realise the person she was shouting at was Dave. I dragged Masimo with me into the bush so they would not suspect that I was here. He doesn't look too happy with me. Ho hum.

**1 minute later**

I'm finally close enough to hear what they are saying.

"It's over!"

Blimey O'Reilly.

Okay, I don't know what it was like over there because I am in a bush which by the by, is more comfortable that you would think. Maybe it's because I'm sitting on Masimo but that's by the by. He still doesn't look too pleased. Anyway, back to the point, it seemed rather awkward. Emma just stood there for a little bit, like she was expecting Dave to apologize and then they would get back together and live happily ever after like they are supposed to. But then I heard Emma storm off and Dave slump to the ground. Or the other way round, I couldn't really see.

**2 seconds later**

Although, I doubt Dave likes the heel look on a man. Unless that man is Masimo then I am sure he would have a laughing spaz to end all spazzes. Oh, shutup.

**2 minutes later**

"Look cara, I have to go. I will miss my flight."

"Wait! It's not safe!"

What fresh hell? I am acting like I am in one of those crap action movies and if we make one false move and the bomb will go off. I'm pretty sure there is no bomb but you get my drift.

"What? Look, sorry. I must go."

He kissed me on the cheek and then leaped out of the bush. It may have looked a little cuter if he wasn't covered in bugs.

**5 minutes later**

I waited a little longer just in case Dave was still around. Although I probably would have heard him laugh when Masimo leaped out of the bush so I guess it's safe.

**2 seconds later**

I was right. No Dave. I may as well go home now I know me and Masimo are defo over (and so are Dave and Emma. Not that I care.)

I don't think. Although it did make me feel a little good watching them break up.

**Walking out of the park**

That whole fandango could have gone a little better I think. I know that Masimo doesn't want me anymore (And who could blame him. In Italy, he would be surrounded by supermodel type looking girls and it would be impossible for him to keep him red bottom under control) and Dave and Emma broke up. But I must not mention the last part to anyone because no one must know I was there. I feel like I'm in the action movie again. Let's see if I can get home without being spotted.

**1 minute later**

Oh good Lord. I can see hunky and Po walking this way. And there are no bushes around to hide in. I must think on my feet.

**1 second later**

I mean, what else am I going to think on? My nose?

**Hiding behind a lamp post**

They will never find me here. If I am just vair still...

"Err...Georgia?"

Drat.

"Hi..."

"What are you doing?"

"Oh...you know...checking my...thinness?"

I guess that will do. Tom carried on walking but Jas didn't look too convinced. Anyway, I don't care what she thinks. She's not my friend right now.

**2 minutes later**

Walking with Jas and Tom. Talking about newts. Thrilling conversation of you are Jas, Tom or a newt. How did I even get here? However I am about ready to make my escape. They will never notice I am gone.

"Hey Georgia. Did you want to come back to Tom's? I left some stuff there. I just need to pick it up and then we can walk home together?"

I shrugged. I'm not going to talk to her if that's what she thinks. Hell will freeze over before I do.

"He has pop tarts?"

**10 minutes later**

At Tom's munching on pop tarts. Jas and Tom are looking at me and smiling. It's freaking me out but hey ho.

**5 minutes later**

Finished my pop tarts. I am getting bored now. I thought Jas had to pick something up? What is she still doing here?

"So Jas, didn't you have something to pick up?"

"Right, yes. Right. Be right back."

She ran upstairs. This is getting weird.

Tom then looked at the clock then back at me and smiled. What?

**2 minutes later**

He's still smiling. Trust Jas to pick the odd one.

**1 minute later**

Knock at the door. Thank God. I don't know how much more happiness I could have taken.

"I'll get it." Tom said.

Well I wasn't going to.

**20 seconds later**

Tom is whispering to whoever is at the door. Like he doesn't want me to hear. Not that I have an interest in what he is saying. Or who he is saying it to.

**2 seconds later**

If I am really quiet, I could sneak over to the door without him hearing.

**10 seconds later**

At the door. Listening carefully. Trying not to give my where abouts away. I think I would make a good spy. Then I could be in a real action movie and be a real movie star. It's only a matter of time.

"Took your time mate."

"Hey. It takes time to look this good. It doesn't just happen, y'know."

It's Dave! Oh my giddy god.

"Err...mate can I show you something in the...lounge?"

What are they doing? Does Dave know I am in here? Well obviously not otherwise Tom would have just went right ahead and said Georgia's in the lounge and then Dave would have said something stupid like 'I'm coming to your rescue Kittykat. You no longer have to be bored with tales of newts and frog spawn.'

"Sure..."

No! I don't want to talk to him. Not after how he ignored me this afternoon. Oh merde!

**3 minutes later**

Me and Dave are stuck in Tom's living room...alone. It's a good thing I have some type of control over my mouth right now and that did not come blurting right out. Dave might have got the wrong end of a vair long stick. He has a vair dirty mind. But by the by, we have tried countless times to get out but Jas and Tom are on the other side of the door and whenever we open the door they push us back in. We have been told to work out our 'issues'. They make it sound like we are a married couple. Which would never ever happen.

**2 minute later**

Okay this is awkward. No one has said a word to anyone in about 5 minutes. Find something decent to say Georgia.

"So, what did you do this afternoon?"

He looked at me a little surprised. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned today. Or anything for that matter.

"Nothing?"

What? Why isn't he telling me about him and Emma?

"Cool."

Why would he not mention it? I am him best friend. He has to tell me this stuff. And why he was off with me after school this afternoon. Whatever. Maybe he is just having a bad day.

"Did I do something?"

"No. But's that's precisely it."

What? I've done something by doing nothing. That makes as much sense as Vati's clown car (I.e. None)

"What?"

"Yeah, your plan to ignore Dave to win back Masimo. I'm just making your plan easier for you."

Merde. Jas must have told Tom and he must have told Dave. Remind me to kill her.

He's just staring at me now. I don't want to argue with Dave. He's one of my best friends. Although, I have never really seen Dave angry at me. Or anyone really. He seems to happy to ever get angry.

"Look Dave. About Masimo, he's-"

"Forget it Georgia."

No, I need to tell him that Masimo has left and that I don't want to ignore him anymore. But if Dave does love me and thinks I am still with Masimo and doesn't want to listen when I have to talk about Masimo, then why should I tell him. He obviously doesn't care. Instead I will ask him about Emma and show him that I can be civilised.

Did any of that even make sense?

"How are you and Emma then?"

"Fine."

What? They broke up, how they can be fine? And I can't ask him about it because he doesn't know I was there. Poo. Unless when he left he went to go and find Emma and apologize and now they are back together. But I am never going to find out unless he finds out that I was in the park when they did break up. You know what, take the bull by the horns is what I say (sometimes).

"But you guys broke up?"

"How did you know that? Did Tom tell you?"

Tom? What? He seems kind of angry. Well I did invent a plan to ignore Dave to win back a guy that he doesn't particularly likes and now I am not telling him that we broke up and he is leaving to go back to Pizza-a-gogo land. But he doesn't know that me and Masimo broke up. No one does. No, I should just tell him I was there. I will leave out the Masimo part. That just might make him angrier. Or he might decide to tell me the truth about him and Emma.

"I was in the park-"

"Well we didn't. We're still together."

Okay. So he must have gone to find Emma after and they did get back together. That's fine. Completely fine and dandy. Nothing wrong there.

"Oh."

"But y'know. You're fine, too. You have your homosexual and your plan will still be made easier."

Christ on a bike. He's not going to let this go. Okay, it has to be done.

"Me and Masimo broke up."

**1 minute later**

Being stared at. He hasn't said anything. At all. Is that a good thing?

"You can say something. Please."

"Err...I have to go."

Dave opened the door and then jumped to the side to avoid being pushed back. But Jas and Tom weren't there. They must have gotten bored when we weren't talking. At least they don't know that me and Masimo broke up.

**2 minutes later**

Dave's gone. God only knows where Jas and Tom went. But I have left too. I waited a while after Dave left to avoid walking with him and awkward conversation.

**Walking Home**

I wonder why he left so quickly. He may have been upset with me for not telling him about Masimo sooner. But now he knows. And he should be happy. He never liked Masimo and he should be happy he left me. He loves me too, which I don't know if that makes the situation worse or better but hey ho.

Wait. Dave loves me. I know because he told Tom and Tom told Jas and Jas told me. He knows I am a single pringle and a free cake in the bakery of Lurrrve. But he is still with Emma. Which would be holding him back? He couldn't be, could he?

He's gone to break up with Emma?

**A/N: Again guys, really sorry for not updating in over a year :S:S:S**

**Anyway, hope you liked it. Review and tell me what you think ;) It will get better, promise :) **

**Maria x**

**P.s. I just wanted to know, as I haven't been on here for sooo long, what you all thought of the last book? I loved it! I can't believe it's finished :( But it's all good because the ending of the last one was awesome! And I met Louise Rennison and got it signed. One of the best days everrrrr! :)**


	5. On Planet Earth, that means no

**Obviously My Camel's not good enough**

**A/N: Hello again :) Thanks to the people who reviewed my last chapter. They made me smile :) **

**Here is the next. Hope you all enjoy it.**

**P.s. Oh and another thing I forgot to mention. In the time I didn't write I also met Tommy Bastow (The guy who plays Dave in Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging) and saw his band (FranKo) live. They are awesome! I got a picture with him too! :):)**

**The second best day everrrrr!**

**Anyway, here it is!**

**Previously...**

_Wait. Dave loves me. I know because he told Tom and Tom told Jas and Jas told me. He knows I am a single pringle and a free cake in the bakery of Lurrrve. But he is still with Emma. Which would be holding him back? He couldn't be, could he?_

_He's gone to break up with Emma?_

**Chapter 5 – On Planet Earth, that means no.**

**Walking home**

I can't believe Dave has gone to break up with Emma. Not that I care that much because he will not be tied down to one person (and more importantly, that person will not be Emma) He will be free to do what he wants and have anyone he wants as his one and only. Although, I don't think I will be happy seeing anyone with Dave.

**2 seconds later**

Dave has only just broken up and gotten back together with Emma. He is a serial heartbreaker. He really has a way with the girly type folk. I don't think I want to take a ride on his camel (Oo-er) if he is going to treat me like that.

**2 seconds later**

I don't even know if I want him to be my one and only. When I think about him he makes me go all jelloid and I normally can't control what I say when I'm around him (but isn't that what I am like with everyone?) but I have only just broken up with a Lurrrve God.

I wouldn't want to seem desperate.

**2 seconds later**

Don't say anything.

**Home**

Back to Swiss Family mad.

**10 seconds later**

Of course. They are in. It's because I don't want them to be. I need to be alone and undisturbed so I can think about this whole fandango with Dave.

**1 minute later**

Ow and ow. Yeah, fat chance. As soon as I opened the door, Libby flew at me and bundled and I landed right on my bum-oley. I think I have broken something down there. I am now walking like a deformed O.A.P and that is possible. Especially with what I have to put up with. And if that wasn't enough, Angus and Gordy then savagely attack me. Gadzooks! After all the love and attention I give them, I am really a saint. But they insist on making my life hell.

I am just going to make my way to my room so I can avoid all contact with anyone.

**2 seconds later**

"Georgia! Is that you?"

What would she do if it wasn't? It's not like she can be bothered to actually come and do anything about it if it wasn't me. As long as she wouldn't have to move she would be fine.

"No."

"Okay then."

See what I mean? What is wrong with these people? I could be a robber. I could duff everyone up and take off with all the 'valuables' in this house. And by valuables I mean a bit of mouldy cheese and My Vati's so called 'hard earned money' which I have never seen any of. I don't think he has either.

**2 minutes later**

No time to waste. I must call Jazzy Spazzy and she must call Hunky and Hunky must find out where Mr. Laugh went after he left. I refuse to believe this is my fault. Dave is not breaking up with Emma because of me.

**10 seconds later**

Okay, the breaking up with Emma bit may be slightly my fault (ish) but it's really Masimo's fault. If he hadn't broken up with me then I wouldn't have to tell Dave that and then he wouldn't break up with Emma. See, it makes perfect sense.

**Calling Jas**

"Hello."

"Hello Jazzy Spazzy."

"Don't call me that. What do you want?"

"Okay then Voley..." Ha. I am a comedy genius. I don't think she appreciates my funosity. I think I heard her snort down the phone. Yeah, snort. I would have mentioned it but I actually need her help. "...I need you to find out from Hunky where Dave went when he left."

"Yeah I was meaning to ask you about that. Me and Tom went into the kitchen and when we came back out again you both had left. Where did you go? And I thought you went with Dave so why are you asking me where he went. You know where he went."

Blimey O'Reilly. This is the kind of stupidity I have to endure daily. If I was calling her asking where Dave went, obviously I did not go with him because then I would know where he went. But I don't know. I will tell her this too.

"Voley, if I am calling you to-"

"Save it Georgia. I really cannot be bothered right now. "

Is that really any way to talk to your bezzie? No I think is the answer you are looking for. After everything I have done for her. Pfft.

**2 seconds later**

Okay. I haven't really done a lot but I do take some of her midget gems at lunch. She would be the size of a mountain if it wasn't for me. She can thank me later.

"Me and Tom did something nice for you and you just left. It's obvious that Dave loves you and you're just too blind to see that you love him too.

**2 seconds later**

What did she say? Did she just say I loved Dave? I don't love Dave. I don't think. Pfft.

No, if I loved Dave I would know I loved Dave instead of thinking that I do. Right?

"Look, can you just call Tom, find out where he went-"

"Call Tom yourself."

She hung up! That is the last time I prevent her from the way of the obese. One day it will happen and she will say 'Besty Gee, why did you do this to me?' and I will say 'It takes two to tango missy.' If the weight of her chins will allow her to talk. She will be a mini Slim. Only much more annoying.

Now I will never find out where he went. Unless I call him. But I don't really feel like talking to him now. He didn't tell me about Emma and he will probably tell me it's because he is ignoring me for ignoring him and I don't want him to be angry with me.

But I won't find out any other way. Hmph.

**2 minutes later**

Someone's knocking on my door. Go away knocking knockers (Oo-er) I need to think!

I'm not going to answer. I need to be alone to think about what has happened today. So if Dave did go and-

"Gee, can I come in."

Didn't she get the message when I didn't answer her knock?

"No."

She came in. Can't I have any privacy in my own bedroom? And why do adults never listen to children. Unless I said 'Of course you can come in Mum, I love you' (which I am pretty sure I didn't) I must have missed the part of actually inviting her in. What's the point in teaching us how to talk if you are just going to ignore everything we say? These are the important questions in life Big G.

I just looked at her as if to say 'When are you going to leave?' but of course she didn't get it.

And of course she is dressed in what only a prostitute will be caught dead in. This kind of behaviour (especially from my Mutti who is like a zillion years old) is not healthy for a young woman of my age.

"A letter came for you today, hahahaha."

I seemed to have missed the joke. Oh wait, it is standing in front of me.

"I'll just leave it on your bed."

**10 seconds later**

She's still here. I tried not to look too interested in the letter because then she might think it's something good and she might ask me about it. And I don't want to tell her. So I will stare at her until she leaves.

Staring.

Still staring.

**10 seconds later**

Is she completely clueless? Don't answer that because the appropriate answer is yes, yes she is.

**2 minutes later**

"Well, I had better go and check on Libby."

Now she decides to take an interest in her children. If you would have asked her any other day, she would reply 'What children?' That is the kind of world we live in. But anyway, she has finally left.

**Opening the letter**

It's from Dave.

It says:

_Gee,_

_Sorry I left Tom's. I just had to get out of there. I think the smell of bugs and leaves was getting to me. Anyway, I need to tell you that what you saw in the park was the last of me and Emma. We did not get back together after that and I don't really know why I said we did. I am really sorry._

_Dave x_

**2 minutes later**

I knew it!

**10 seconds later**

Well actually I didn't know it but saying that doesn't make me sound so clueless to actually believe they got back together. I knew it!

**2 minutes later**

So why didn't he tell me that when I was confessing about Masimo. Give as much as you take and all that rubbish.

**10 seconds later**

He probably likes watching me be humiliated and lonely as a clud. He probably left and started choking and spluttering with laughter.

**2 minute later**

I should call him. If he did not go and get back together with her, then where did he go? And by the sound of this letter he isn't exactly upset with me anymore. And the great thing about a phone is Dave will not be able to see my face. If he is still upset with me and starts raving about how pathetic I am and I feel a good blub session coming on, I can just hang up.

**Calling Dave**

I figured that the only way I am going to find out is to call him and because I am on the phone he can't be angry with me (It doesn't make any sense to me either but hey ho.)

"Hello?"

Why didn't he answer is a fun but super stupid way like he usually does?

"Hi Dave...its Georgia."

"Oh, right. Hi. How are you?"

He much still be ignorez-vousing me. Fine. Then I am not going to be chatty and happy and my normal full of joy and funosity self. I will just get straight to the point.

"I was just wondering where you went after you left today? I was going to walk with you but you were already half way up the street when I came out."

Okay, that was a lie. I purposely took my time to avoid walking with Dave. Details, details!

"Did you read the letter?"

"Yeah. And another thing. Why did you tell me you and Emma got back together?"

Yeah, let's see you work your way out of this one Mr Laughy Laugh.

"After I left, I went to your house. I was waiting for you to come back. I figured either you were abducted by aliens or you walk veryyy slow. So I gave up, wrote a letter and posted it through your door."

"Okay, so that explains where you went but why didn't you tell me about Emma after I told you about Masimo?"

"I don't know. I'm a boy."

That's his excuse? Although, it does make sense. Boys aren't exactly all there if you know what I mean and I think you do. I wonder why they broke up. I won't ask though in case it makes this whole conversation a little awkward.

"Anything else you want to know?"

I can't believe he is being so stupid about this whole thing. But I suppose seeing as he is already grumpy with me, it can't hurt to ask.

"Why did you break up?"

"It wasn't really working."

Oh.

So why was Emma shouting? If someone told me it wasn't working I wouldn't want to shout to everyone about it. But each to their own is what I say. Sometimes.

"Why did you and handbag horse break up?"

"He's going back to Pizza-a-gogo land."

"Oh so at least he's out of the way."

What does he mean by that?

"What do you me-"

He hung up. What fresh hell?

**2 minutes later**

I expected something a bit better than 'It wasn't working'. Hmph. But it has made me feel a little better knowing that he is not with Emma now.

**10 seconds later**

I don't really know why.

**In bed**

I have a lot to relay back to the Ace Gang tomorrow. I didn't even call any of them to tell them how it went with Masimo. Although I can probably count on Jas to have done that by now. She didn't get the nickname Radio Jas for nothing.

**2 minutes later**

Libby has come in my room. With scuba diving Barbie again. Can't I just have one night in peace? Please Lord Sandra is that really too much to ask?

If I pretend to be sleeping then she might leave me in peace.

**20 seconds later**

Sleeping, sleeping.

**2 minutes later**

Ow. Bloody ow.

Libby could obviously tell I wasn't asleep, so she whacked me over the head many many times with Scuba Diving Barbie. My head aches like billio.

I don't care what she does. She is not sharing my bed with me. No, no, no.

**1 minute later**

Sharing my bed with Libby. I find it rather strange that Libby is such a small person yet she takes up my whole bed. I'm about ready to fall out now. But at least she is asleep.

I suppose I could use this valuable time to think about what I am going to say to Dave next time I see him. I think I should give him the cold shoulder as he didn't tell me about Emma sooner. And because he is still ignorez-vousing me. He will not be able to resist me for that long. Because I am single and he is single and...

I don't really know where that story is going.

Anyway, back to my point, I will win him back with my maturosity and my cleverosity and-

...ZzzzzzzZzz

**Thursday 22****nd**** September**

**8.20**

Walking to meet Jazzy Spazzy. I am giving her the cold shoulder after she so rudely hung up on me when I was trying to find out about Mr Laugh. It will be a lot easier when he gets over the massive hump he has with me for some reason I have no idea what that reason could be.

Okay, so I did make a plan to avoid Dave until I won Masimo back. But he shouldn't have a problem with that. He has gone back to Pizza-a-gogo land and I am free.

**At Jas's house**

"So you never did tell me where you and Dave rushed off to when you left Tom's yesterday?"

No 'hi'. No 'Good Morning'. No 'Have a midget gem my best friend. I love you.'

"I told you before Jazzy, I did not leave with Dave. I don't know where he went. As for me, if you wouldn't have been so rudey dudey and hung up on me, I would have told you that I went home and found out Dave had been at my house."

Then I stalked off.

**5 minutes later**

I'm walking fast and she is running after me. Ha. I'll make her sport the red faced loon look and see how she likes it.

"Why..." Pant pant. "...was Dave at..." Pant pant. "...your house?"

"Ask Dave yourself." Ha. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I am a comedy genius. That'll teach her.

**Assembly**

Why does Slim feel like it is necessary to stand on stage and talk to us about not taking fitness seriously? Has she seen herself? She is a visual example of what she is saying.

Me and Rosie are trying to do our Viking disco inferno as subtly as possible without getting the stare from Hawkeye. And Slim is talking to us about Fitness. Pfft. We are fitness personified.

Jas keeps staring at me. I think she thinks I am going to eventually cave and tell her what Dave was doing at my house. I don't actually know what he was doing there. All I know is that he posted a letter. But I'll let Jas have her fun. Or suffering. But hey ho.

I hope Dave didn't knock on my door. I hope Libby didn't embarrass me. Or worse, Mutti or Vati. I would have to kill myself if my Mutti talked to Dave looking like a common prostitute. He might think that is what I am going to turn out like when I am older and that is why he doesn't want to talk to me. I may have to dress like a nun...for the rest of my life.

**Break**

"Are you going to tell me what Dave was doing at your house yesterday?"

**2 seconds later**

Great. Now I have 5 gogs staring at me. Thanks Voley. Now I will have 5 gogs to answer to and not just one.

"Nice weather today, isn't it." Worth a try. I suppose.

**10 seconds later**

Rosie has got her beard out. She has a crazed look in her eyes like she is going to duff me up. I wouldn't put it past her. Especially seeing as I am withholding vital information. I might have to pretend to be asleep. That should give me the rest of break.

**German**

We are being forced to translate English sentences into German. We have to make them up and then test each other. Was ist der point? That will be one of my sentences.

**2 minutes later**

I have given up with the work and have resorted to painting my finger nails.

**3 minutes later**

Nice and bright.

**10 seconds later**

The Ace Gang keep looking at me. Every time I look at them they look away super quick and pretend to be interested in their work. I know better. They could never be interested in their work.

Although Jas is making it awfully convincing.

**10 seconds later**

And now she's writing. What a nerd. She is good at this 'Look at Georgia and when she looks, look away' business.

I think I should put them out of their misery. And maybe they can give me some advice on how to get Dave to forgive me.

**Lunch**

"So are you going to tell us now or are you going to make us beg?"

I would love to see Rosie beg.

"Rosie, you would actually beg me to tell you?"

"Of course not mon petit nincompoop. I'd make Jas do it."

Ha. I would love to see that too. But she would never do that. She would be worried of messing up her fringe. Fringy fool.

**2 minutes later**

Watching Jas beg me to tell them. She didn't really want to but Rosie can be very convincing (and scary) when she wants to be. All it turns out was Rosie needed to have a little 'chat' and she was more than willing.

I still don't know what she said to her. I don't think I want to know. It probably involved her owl collection mysteriously going missing. Ha.

"Georgia, please please please tell us what happened with you and Dave."

Rosie is coughing. What?

Jas then got on her knees. Ha. The rest of the gang are laughing like loons.

"Gee, please please please...tell us."

She is getting annoyed now. I think I should tell her to tell me she loves me. That should then be enough.

"Tell me you love me."

"Forget it. If we all want to know we should all be doing this?"

They all looked at each other.

"WE LOVE YOU GEORGIA!" They all came running at me. For a moment, I was scared for my life, especially since Rosie is quite abusive.

**1 minute later**

Currently lying at the bottom of a large pile of girls. Finding it quite hard to breathe too.

"Okay...I'll tell you. Just get off me you lezzies."

**2 minutes later**

Finally free. I could make a break for it but then I would have to deal with Rosie and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Except Wet Lindsay but anywho.

"Well. When I got home, Masimo agreed to meet me in the park. I went and saw Masimo and then he broke up with me..."

They all looked rather shocked?

Oh yeah. I forgot they did not know about Masimo. I am quite shocked really Jas hadn't told them.

I looked at Jas and she shrugged. This is the one thing I didn't want to tell the Ace Gang myself and Jas hadn't done it for me. She is a great friend. Not.

"Yeah. But that's not the good bit. Dave and Emma also broke up. I was hiding in a bush trying to listen to their conversation and Emma shouted 'It's over!'"

I put on a funny voice when I said what Emma said. I don't really know why.

I also told them everything that happened at Tom's, everything from them locking us in the room to me telling Dave me and Masimo broke up.

"But Dave then told me him and Emma were not broken up."

Many confused faces.

"I know right...so..."

**2 minutes later**

Just told the Ace Gang everything that happened yesterday. They all looked quite happy.

"Why do you all look so happy?"

They are now all looking at each other like I am a complete nincompoop. Which I am but that's not the point.

"Isn't it obvious that Dave told you he was still with Emma because he wanted to make you jealous?"

What? That's not why. It's because what he said. He's a guy and that's his excuse.

**Geoggers**

I've spent the whole lesson so far thinking about what the Ace Gang said.

It does make sense. I told him about Masimo and he knows that I am single. He then tells me he is still with Emma and that could be what makes me jealous and want him. That might mean that he wants me to be his one and only. But he hasn't said anything about it.

Maybe because he wants to know how I feel about him before he tells me.

**2 seconds later**

How do I feel about him? He is my besty boy mate and he is really funny and a laugh. He is groovy looking. And he does make me go jelloid when i'm with him and when I snog him. And he loves me which is a plus.

And Jas said I loved him too. Hmph.

**Waiting for the guys**

I didn't really want to wait for the guys but all the rest of the Ace Gang are having snogging withdrawals which I think is tres sad and pathetico. Can they look anymore desperate?

And I really want to see Dave.

**2 minutes later**

Can see the guys walking down the street. They are biffing each other and shouting at each other. You know what they say. And for all the dim people who don't know what they say (whoever 'they' are) I will tell you because I am a loving and caring person. They say 'Boys will be boys.' Which indeedio is true.

**1 minute later**

Still waiting. Can't they hurry up a little bit? The Ace Gang are running around like headless chickens (Surely is a chicken is headless it wouldn't be able to do much...who is the person that thinks of all these sayings? They are clearly vair dim) making sure they have enough eyeliner etc. Why can't they act normal and not so desperate?

**10 seconds later**

Lip gloss. Where's my lip gloss? On no, i'm having a nervy b.

**2 seconds later**

Nervy b over. I nicked Ellen's. She's so dithery she won't notice.

**1 minute later**

They are taking their time. And they always say girls have a problem with timing, but really they are just like girls (Oo-er)

**30 seconds later**

I think they have a touch of Mystic Meg about them. As soon as I thought they were taking their time, they started running. And I don't mean as in a sort of jogging run I mean a charging run.

And the Ace Gang started hysterically screaming when they got near us. So sad.

I went and hid behind Rosie. No one would dare go near her. She might eat them.

**5 seconds later**

The boys reached us. Jas asked what took them so long and Rollo said "We got busted for having a concert in the cafeteria."

We looked confused.

Dec then said "And it was going well too until Dave slipped, which sent a lunch tray flying in the air and hitting Principle Howard right in the face."

Of course. They all started laughing. I will never understand boys. And as usual, I will be the last to know.

**Walking with Dave**

"So, you hit a principle in the face with a lunch tray. How many people can day they have done that?"

Dave chuckled a little.

When is he going to forgive me? I've said i'm sorry. Actually I don't think I have. I should really start with that.

"I'm sorry Dave."

"What are you sorry for?"

Why is he being so awkward?

"I'm sorry for planning to ignore you to try and win Masimo back. But I've realised something. I don't really want Masimo. And i'm not saying that because I haven't got him anymore."

Dave looked at me. Does he want me to say something else? I haven't got anything else to be sorry for. He should really apologize to me for not telling me about Emma. I shall tell him this too.

"You should really say sorry to me too. You didn't tell me about Emma just for your own plan to make me jealous."

"Am I really that predictable?"

So the Ace Gang were right. Gadzooks! That must mean Dave does want me to be his one and only right? I wouldn't mind that.

**Walking with Dave**

All the other have snogged off (Oo-er) so it's just me and Dave. I think he has forgiven me. But I can't be too sure.

"So I forgive you, y'know."

I'm pretty sure.

"Thanks. And I forgive you too."

Dave smiled. Corr I've gone jelloid. He is really groovy looking.

"So you said you are not too bothered about Masimo breaking up with you?"

"No, not really. I don't think I even liked him that much. I can think of someone I like a lot more."

I gave him a full flaring smile.

I hope Dave knows I mean him and not someone else. Because I don't want him to go off me because he thinks that I like someone else. That would be merde.

"Oh. So, if I snogged you right now, you wouldn't mind?"

"Nuughh" I think on planet Earth that means no.

Dave smiled. "Good."

And he snogged me.

**A/N: That'll do :) I found this chapter really hard to write and I don't really know why? It's not like anything happens in it :P The next chapter will be good (hopefully) and then the one after that starts the plot off properly. **

**Hope you liked it :)**

**Maria x**

**P.s. Hope you paid attention, there is an important piece of info to remember ;)**


	6. Blimey O'Reilly I was not expecting that

**Obviously My Camel's not good enough**

**A/N: So I think this chapter went a little better than the last one. Maybe because a lot more happened in this chapter. But the next one will be a gooden ;) Thanks again to everyone who is reviewing. I love you all in a non lezzie way ;) **

Previously...

"_So you said you are not too bothered about Masimo breaking up with you?"_

"_No, not really. I don't think I even liked him that much. I can think of someone I like a lot more."_

_I gave him a full flaring smile._

_I hope Dave knows I mean him and not someone else. Because I don't want him to go off me because he thinks that I like someone else. That would be merde._

"_Oh. So, if I snogged you right now, you wouldn't mind?"_

"_Nuughh" I think on planet Earth that means no._

_Dave smiled. "Good." _

_And he snogged me. _

**Chapter 6 – Blimey O'Reilly I was not expecting that.**

**Home**

Two words. Fabbity fab. With knobs on.

I haven't snogged Dave since the camping fiasco. And there was nothing wrong with it this time because we are both free in the cake shop of Lurrrve. Jas would be proud.

I don't want to think about Jas now! That's not right, especially when I am thinking about snogging Mr. Laugh.

He started with number 4. It was marvy. I went jelloid and sort of fell into him. He looked a bit confused but I just laughed and carried on.

Why was I wasting my time with Masimo when I could have had a tip top snogger like Dave?

We were about to go to number 5 but then Dave said he had to go. Boo.

**2 minutes later**

On the dark side he did not ask me to be his one and only but on the bright side he said 'See you tomorrow'.

You may ask yourself why that is on the bright side and for you vair dim people I will tell you. He didn't say 'S'later'. Which avoids the whole confusion fandango that goes with it.

**1 minute later**

But now I am boredy bored with a hint of boredom. I may have to call Jas and share my snogging news.

It may be more exciting for me than it is her but she is a good pally (sometimes) and she will listen to me.

**Calling Jas**

"Hello?"

"Hello Jas, my bestest friend."

"Hey Georgia. What's up?"

She sounds happy. This is a perfect time to talk about me.

"Guess what happened when you guys left?"

"I don't know."

"Well, aren't you going to guess?"

"No."

She has no funosity in her. It is up to me to provide entertainment into this vair dull world. But I suppose being a great person like me has its price.

"Go on, guess."

"I don't know...err..."

**1 minute later**

"Jas...are you still there?"

"I'm thinking."

"Well I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was going to be this painful."

**1 minute later**

I am about ready to hang up.

"Got it!"

About time.

"You found a Cape Rain frog!"

What in the name of her giagantibus panties kind of guess was that? I don't know what's scarier. That she is really excited about it or that she actually thought I knew what one of them was.

"No."

"I'll guess again..."

"NO!"

I hung up.

**10 seconds later**

I still didn't tell her. Merde. I need to tell someone.

"Georgia can you come here please? I need help."

"Mutti, I think you're beyond help. But if you insist, I don't think I can. I'd recommend professional help."

"GEORGIA!"

**Kitchen**

Laughing like a loon taking a trip to laugh central. There is food everywhere. Either Libby and the kitties had a food fight or Mutti was attempting to cook again.

"Were you attempting to cook again?"

"It was your bloody cats. We have to get rid of them."

I've heard that one before. Luckily Angus and Gordy know self defence of the kitty kind. They are not going anywhere if they have anything to do with it and they will because they are the ones that will be going if you know what I mean and I think you do.

**2 minutes later**

Helping Mutti tidy. I'm not doing a lot because i'm hoping she will see how useless I am (don't say anything) and tell me to leave so I can call Jas again.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

No way am I telling my Mutti. I will probably get some ridiculous story about how 'things were' in the 1920's or whenever she was born. I could really do without it. I am certainly not telling her about my boy type life.

"C'mon Gee. I'm your Mum."

Precisely.

"Y'know, I was young once. I will understand."

When will she get it? The day I talk to her about my boy type life is the day I will tie myself to a rocket and send myself to the moon (I.e. Never.)

**10 minutes later**

Just told my Mutti everything. Everything about Masimo, Dave and Emma, everything.

"Dave seems like a really nice guy."

I smiled.

"But no one is good enough for my Gee."

She smiled this scary smile which is bound to give me nightmares. I think that's her way of being a good Mum. She should try a little harder. I don't know, maybe buy some decent food and cook a proper dinner. Then, and only then, may she be a good Mum. Anything else is just a pathetic attempt.

Must retreat to my room. She can pay me for my hard work later.

**7.00pm**

I think I should try calling Jas again. Maybe she has stopped being annoying long enough for me to have a decent conversation with her.

**Calling Jas**

"Hello!"

Blimey. Someone's happy.

"Why are you so happy?"

Tom must have found a new type of leaf or something vair sad like that.

"Tom found a new type of leaf."

Freaky deaky. I am getting a touch of Mystic Meg. Maybe I can sense if Jas is going to be happy long enough for me to tell her the news.

**10 seconds later**

Hmmm...

**5 seconds later**

"Georgia! What do you want?"

"Sorry Jazzy Spazzy. I am calling to conclude last conversation we had."

"Yeah I remember. The one where you hung up on me."

Crikey. Is she still going on about that?

"Look Jas. I have some brillopads news! Me and Dave snogged!"

**10 seconds later**

She hasn't said anything? Be happy for me you fool!

**5 seconds later**

"Jas?"

"Hmm..."

"Did you not hear me? I said me and Dave snogged!"

"That's great Gee."

Hmph. I suppose that's as good as it's going to get. I should have called Rosie or Ellen.

**2 seconds later**

No, actually I shouldn't.

**1 second later**

"Jas. Don't you understand why that's good?"

"No, not really. You have snogged him many times before."

"Exactly Jas! There was no red-bottomosity involved! This time we are both single and we have no reason not to snog! "

In my excitement I hung up on her. And because I told her what I wanted and didn't want to force myself into insanity by listening to her talk about her new leaf.

**2 minutes later**

Who gets excited about a new leaf?

**In bed**

I never thought I would say something so shocking but I am looking forward to Stalag 14 tomorrow. I can tell the Ace Gang about me and Dave and everyone will be happy and marvy and fab. And then at the end of the day, I will see Dave and then he will ask me to be his official snogging partner and we will live happily ever after. Give or take the last part. But I can hope.

**Friday 23****rd**** September**

**8.30**

Brillopads. I'm late. And I look like a beetroot. Not exactly the look I was going for today.

**5 minutes later**

And Jas isn't waiting for me. Hmph.

**Stalag 14**

"Nicolson. You're late."

Don't they think I know this? I didn't just run a mile for my own amusement and happen to like looking like a red faced loon. There is no telling these people.

**Break**

**In the Tarts Wardrobe**

I am trying to make myself look half decent after walking to school this morning. I have to water down my hair to make it look a little less afro and I had to steal emergency make up supplies from the Ace Gang. Jas is with me trying to 'fix' her fringe. I don't know why she bothers. The wind will only blow it back to how it was before and she will go into a fringe flicking frenzy. I don't know why she does it to herself but each to their own.

**2 minutes later**

Should I risk eyeliner or just go natural and stick to the foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss I have got on now?

**1 minute later**

I think I should play it safe. I do not need detention tonight.

**2 minutes later**

Got the eye liner on. The Ace Gang will just have to form a barrier around me if they see any of the Hitler Youth. I have great bezzie mates.

**10 seconds later**

"That eye liner makes you look a little trampy, Gee."

I take that back. I have vair dim friends.

**1 minute later**

I have taken the eye liner off. I don't really want to look like a tramp in front of Dave.

**2 minutes later**

Wet Lindsay has just walked in. She looks a bit hufty. And as usual, she was followed closely by Astonishingly Dim Monica. I am going to be mature and ignorez-vous them.

"So Nicolson, how does it feel to know that you scared Masimo off? Just like you did Robbie."

Ignorez-vousing.

"You didn't deserve him anyway."

What? It's not like she did. I will tell her that too.

"Oh, and you did?"

"He left me! And it's your fault!"

"He didn't leave you! You weren't even with him. Besides you have Robbie."

That shocked her. I don't think she thought I was going to react. Or mention Robbie. Well that'll show her! Ha!

**Blodge**

I wonder what's going on with Wet Lindsay and Robbie. When I was talking to her about Masimo she said that he left her. But doesn't she have Robbie?

I did think about it but then realised I didn't really care.

"So Ro-Ro. Guess what happened yesterday when all you snoggers stalked off?"

"Hmph."

Why does no one take an interest in my life? Actually I tell a lie. They take interest when I don't want them to but when I do, I may as well be invisible.

How comes last time they were begging me (literally) to tell them what happened between me and Dave? And now they couldn't care less. Well then, I'll show them.

**Home time**

All the boys are waiting. Perfect time to show the Ace Gang they should have listened to me before.

**Snogging Dave**

I can feel everyone staring at us. Which I don't really care about seeing as we are both free and everything. And every now and then you can hear one of the guys shouting 'Get in there Dave' or 'Go on my son' which I am guessing is another thing to add onto the vair long list of ridiculous things boys do.

He really is a marvy snogger.

**Walking home**

After everyone stopped staring at me and Dave we were on our merry way.

I'm walking with the Ace Gang after they dragged me away. I would rather be walking with Dave but hey ho.

"Gee! What was that?"

See, now they care.

"I tried to tell you guys earlier. You just wouldn't listen to me."

"So...are you like...together...or...y'know...something?"

"No. But it's only a matter of time mon nincompoops." And I stalked off.

**Outside my house**

It's just me and Dave now.

"So...err...earlier?"

"Yeah sorry about that."

"Oh, i'm not complaining."

Cheeky Cat.

I didn't know what to do so I just sort of smiled at him.

"So, how about we go out, properly."

"Really?" I think I sounded a little too eager which did nothing for my glaciosity.

"You shocked that a handsome biscuit like me asked you out?" He grinned.

Just his grin is enough to make me go jelloid, but I must keep control of myself. Especially now. You have been waiting for this moment Georgia.

**5 seconds later**

Now would be the time to talk.

"Yes."

Did he think that was an answer to what he said before? That was the answer to the going out thing. Not the biscuit thing. I would tell him but I don't think I can manage much more talk.

"Good. How's tomorrow night? I'll come pick you up around 7?"

Just nod. Don't say anything, just nod and smile.

Nodding. Smiling. Nodding and smiling.

It must have done some good though because Dave smiled back. Actually he laughed but hey ho. I have a date with a Laugh.

"See you then Kittykat."

Here comes the snog.

**In my bedroom**

I didn't get the snog. 3. That's how far it was. A 3. Only it wasn't a goodnight kiss. It was in the day. So what number does that make it?

Wait? Did Dave say he would come and pick me up from my house? That's not a good idea. Unless I make sure Libby is bathed and decently behaved, make sure my mum is not dressed like a tart and my dad...well make sure he's not in the house. Then, and only then, will it be fine.

Defiantly not a good idea.

**Calling Dave**

"House of Laughs. Mr Laugh currently speaking. How can I help thee?"

"Hello Mr Laugh. Kittykat here."

"Oh so you just couldn't wait?"

He is vair cheeky. I will have to biff him when I see him.

"Actually, I called to let you know that meeting at my house is not a good idea."

"How so?"

"Well, in case you hadn't remembered, I have a lunatic little sister, a prostitute mother and a pot bellied, badger infested father. Coming anywhere near my house would be dangerous for your sanity."

"So how do you propose to get your attention if I am not allowed to knock?"

"I don't know? Throw stones at my window?"

He laughed. Which is good. At least he doesn't think I am a complete freak of the first waters.

He probably does but that's not important right now.

"I think I'll knock. Don't worry Gee. I will be fine."

Vati walked in. You can tell when he is about to complain about the phone. He sort of wags his finger at me like an old man does. Well he is an old man. His face sort of goes red too. Kind of like what it's doing now.

"I seriously doubt that."

"GEORGIA GET OFF THE BLOODY PHONE! I HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR POINTLESS CONVERSATIONS YOU KNOW!"

"I had better go. S'later."

Haha. I S'latered Dave.

Do you think boys get confused about that type of thing?

**In my bedroom**

Right. I should organise my outfit for tomorrow to save valuable time for make-up and stuff.

**2 minutes later**

I have a choice. I can either go light jeans and a long white frilly top or a black skirt with a grey sparkly top.

The jeans are casual and the skirt is vair sophis.

It would help to know where we were going. I could call Dave again but that would mean angering the badger again and I am not even that dim.

I think I'll go with the jeans. That way if it's cold, I'll be nice and snugly warm.

**1 minute later**

Although, the jeans may look too casual if you know what I mean and I think you do.

**30 seconds later**

Skirt.

**20 seconds later**

Jeans.

**10 seconds later**

Skirt.

**10 seconds later**

Jeans.

**2 minutes later**

I am going with the skirt and I am not changing my mind. It looks better than the jeans and if it's cold I will just have to suffer.

I wonder where we are going.

**10.00pm**

In bed ready for an early night for enhanced beauty. Tomorrow I will start my beauty regime. It will consist of get up. Shower. Face pack. Hair. Makeup. Get dressed. Then I will get ready. And the best part is that I don't have to get up early because we are going out in the evening. Yes!

I wonder where we will be going. We could go to the cinema. Or to Luigi's. Or just to the park to talk (and snog). I am really excited about it even though I don't know and-

...ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Saturday 24****th**** September**

**9.00**

Phone is ringing. What sort of idiot calls someone this early in the morning? A dim one, that's who.

**20 seconds later**

It's still ringing. Doesn't anyone in this house have an ounce of maturosity to go and pick up the phone?

"DON'T WORRY, I'LL GET IT!"

Ha. If the phone didn't wake everyone, I sure have. That will teach them for making me get up at ridiculous times when I need my beauty sleep for a vair important date tonight. Now they are up too.

"Whoever this is better have a good reason for calling at this time."

"Hi Georgia, its Jas."

I should have known. Who else is up at this time?

"Of course it is. What do you want?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Huh?

"What didn't I tell you?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Blimey O'Reilly. She is calling me to ask me what she knows I didn't tell her.

"Jas are you really callin-"

"I can't be bothered to listen to you. Why didn't you tell me about your date with Dave tonight?"

Oh that.

"I didn't really think it was important."

"Oh."

She must have found out from Hunky. I think he secretly has a dark side. He's the one you think you can rely on but when your back is turned he is relaying everything back to Jas. I will trust him no more. Not that I really talk to him that much but hey ho.

"If that is all Jazzy Spazzy, I have to get back to sleep so I am full on beauty wise for tonight's shenanigans. Good day."

Shenanigans? Who says that? Who knows who cares? I'm going out with a Laugh tonight.

**2.00pm**

Spent most of my day just trying to occupy myself because i'm as bored as a bored thing in bored land.

I was so bored I went to go and sit with Vati while he was watching t.v.

"Vati. Vati. Hey Vati. Vati."

"What?"

"Whatya watching?"

"Oh bugger off."

That was rude.

**In my room**

May as well go in the shower. I have nothing to do so I may as well get ready so that I am full on beauty wise and Dave will not be able to resist me.

**10 minutes later**

Doing my hair as well as my face pack. I have the curlers in. They are really making me head ache like billio but that is the pain I have to endure to be a Sex Kitty of the first waters.

While the curlers are in I may as well take my face pack off and do my make-up. I am going for a tres sophis look to match my skirt. So I'm thinking grey eye shadow and black eyeliner. As well as foundation and blush and lip gloss and the whole fandango.

**20 minutes later**

I am all ready. Just to get dressed and then I will be a proper sex kitty.

**6.59pm**

How did I go from being ready an hour ago to not being ready a minute before. He will be here any minute and I have found myself changing my outfit which caused me to change all my make-up. And then changing it all again! So I am exactly how I originally started. Merde.

**1 minute later**

Knock at the door. I still have to do my mascara. I will have to go downstairs, let Dave in and then drag him up here before he has time to even look at my 'family'.

Falling down the stairs.

Answering the door.

**2 seconds later**

Crikey. He looks marvy. But what's new? I gave him a full flaring smile which would be enough to send him running a mile away. But he didn't. He just smiled back. I suppose he will be alright with my family after all. Shame he won't get to see them.

"Who is this then?"

Does he have to ruin my life?

"Dad. This is Dave. Dave this is my Dad."

"Hello Sir."

"Don't call me sir, boy. Call me Bob."

Dave didn't look scared which I give him props for. Anyone (including me) would be scared of my dad and the badger he carries around on his chin. And why did he call Dave boy? That is vair sad.

"Come and talk to me. So where are you taking my daughter?"

And they went into the lounge. I guess that gives me time to finish my make-up.

**5 minutes later**

Finally finished. I will now go and rescue Dave from the clutches of my Vati before he scares him off for good. It doesn't take a lot.

**In the lounge**

"You ready then Dave?"

"Sure."

We left quickly before my dad did something even scarier like hug me or whatever.

**Walking into town**

We're holding hands. It feels good being with Dave. We are just talking about random things. I don't mind being myself with Dave because he already knows what a loon I am. He is one too so we're like two peas in a pod. Even though we are not actually peas. Or in a pod.

"Sorry about my dad earlier."

"It's fine. I kind of liked talking to him."

"Really? Why?"

He saw how shocked I was. I'm surprised they found anything they had in common. I mean Dave is really groovy and marvy and my dad is really not.

"We talked about you mostly." He smiled at me.

Pwoarrr.

**In a restaurant**

I have never been here before. I don't even know where we are but its fab. It's like a little casual restaurant. Dave likes to come here all the time apparently. He is telling me about himself. He said that in the year we have known each other I don't know enough about him. I told him that was a lie but then he asked me what his last name was. And his favourite food. And sport. And colour. I didn't know anything which led us nicely to the 'how well do you know Dave' game.

"So what is your last name?"

"Smith."

"Dave Smith..."

"I prefer 'the Laugh' myself but my Mutti wouldn't let me change it.

He gave me a sort of cheeky smile.

**10 seconds later**

Was he being serious?

**5 minutes later**

Our food come. We both got pizza. Or as Dave put it, the 'food of the homosexuals'. As he is eating it he is pretending to be Italian.

"_La pizza e per gli homosexuals_." It is vair funny. I don't know what he is saying but I am laughing like a loon.

It tastes really good. I got chicken on mine and Dave had ham and pineapple. I never understood putting pineapple on a pizza. You're mixing healthy with unhealthy and it just doesn't work.

**10 minutes later**

We decided we were going to sit in the park for a while. I don't really know what we would do in the park other then snog but I'll be okay with doing just that.

**Park**

**9.00pm**

Talking. It's nice talking to Dave. He's completely bonkers but that's where i'm just like him. He was telling me all about him Norman normal family and how he must have inherited something that makes him insane. It's quite funny listening to him.

I've also found out his mum's name is Karen and dad's name is Bryan. One of his gran's lives in Leeds. I don't know where that is but I know it's far because he says he never gets to see her but he misses her (awww) And he is an only child.

Lucky. I mean I do love Libby but what I would give to be an only child for a day (a lot)

Why can't I have a normal family like his?

"So Mr Smith, when can I start asking you questions about me?"

**10 seconds later**

He is laughing. Why is he laughing? I didn't say anything funny, I don't think?

"I already know everything about you."

He does?

"No you don't."

"Your mum's name is Connie and your dad's name is 'Call me Bob'. You have a criminally insane younger sister called Libby and 2 demon Scottish wildcat cats called Angus and Gordy. Should I go on?"

Okay, so he knows a lot about me. Which is vair nice.

"Another thing I know about you Miss Nicolson is that your last name is Nicolson..." He gave me a cheeky grin. "...and that you really really want to kiss me."

He is really close to me now. I can feel my lips puckering. Down lips! I don't want to seem desperate for a snog. That just seems...desperate.

But he's right. Very right.

**2 minutes later**

Snogging Dave. I have said it once and I will probably say it may more times. He is a really marvy, tip top snogger. I can't believe I hadn't snogged Dave in so long. Well I know I did just the other day but before that. The last time I had was at the camping fiasco. I can hardly remember that day it was so long ago. The good thing about snogging Dave now is that I can do it whenever I want.

**1 minute later**

Number 5. Yummy scrumboes.

**2 minutes later**

I wonder if he still...

**2 seconds later**

Yeah. He does.

Nip Libbling.

**10 seconds later**

I've gone jelloid. He noticed when I was collapsing in front of him but he laughed. He stopped then. No, stop stopping. Hmph.

**Walking home**

Dave insisted on taking me home because my Vati apparently made it very clear that he wanted me home before 11. Why does he choose now to be a normal dad? He is not fooling anyone. Except maybe Dave. Especially after I told him what a raving lunatic my dad was. He probably thinks i'm the raving lunatic now. Hmph.

**Home**

"I had a really great time with you Gee. I forgot how mad you could be."

Pfft. Like he forgot.

**Snogging Dave (again.) **

A quick snog before he goes off on his merry way.

Number 5 with a hint of 6. Dave doesn't disappoint I will tell you that now.

He pulled away after about half a minute. Couldn't my dad have been his normal uncaring self for just one more day and let me spend the night with Dave?

As he pulled away he whispered "You don't know how long I've waited for this Gee."

I smiled at him and then lunged for him. It look a little desperate especially when Dave pushed me back. Not as in a I don't want to snog you type way but more as in a I really need to tell you this way.

"I really need to tell you this."

Freaky deaky.

"Okay..."

"I don't really know how to say it because we have been friends for so long but then again we have always had our accidental snogs and stuff so I don-"

"Dave! Just spit it out!"

"I love you Georgia."

Blimey O'Reilly. I was not expecting that. What do I say?

I will have to be quick before he realises I am not talking for too long.

"I love you too."

Do I?

I do.

I love Dave the Laugh.

Wow.

**Home**

Vati was shocked to see me come in on time. What would he think I would do? Run Away? Well now that I mention it it doesn't sound half bad. Anyway I don't want to think about that now because Dave the Laugh loves me. And I love him.

Oh my giddy God.

**A/N: Haha. I am so kind not leaving it at the place I could have left it. I think because I didn't you should review :)**

**Sorry that the date bit was not that great. We all know that Dave likes Georgia and I didn't want to make it a big thing of it. **

**Please review and tell me what you think. Thank youuu :)**

**Maria x**


	7. Your girlfriend is an extra big twit

**Obviously My Camel's not good enough**

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter should be better than the last. But I have a problem. A vair vair bad problem. You lovely people are not reviewing enough and I can't help to think whether it's because you are not enjoying it? Please tell me :( **

**P.s. Sorry it's been a long time again. Everything has been crazyyy lately. I will try to update everything week or so.**

Previously...

"_I don't really know how to say it because we have been friends for so long but then again we have always had our accidental snogs and stuff so I don-"_

"_Dave! Just spit it out!"_

"_I love you Georgia."_

_Blimey O'Reilly. I was not expecting that. What do I say?_

_I will have to be quick before he realises I am not talking for too long._

"_I love you too."_

_Do I?_

_I do._

_I love Dave the Laugh. _

_Wow._

**Chapter 7 – Your girlfriend is an extra big twit**

**11am**

**Phone ringing**

What sort of twit calls people this time at night?

**2 seconds later**

Okay so it's not night, but it feels like it. I didn't get to sleep until vair late.

I think it's because I was thinking about how much I Lurrrve Dave.

Or maybe because Libby took over my bed and whacked me round the head with Mr. Potato Head every time I went near her to kick her back out.

**1 minute later**

I will pretend I can't speak English so that whoever it is will go away. And then I can go back to bed and dream about Dave.

"Guten Tag!"

"Georgia?"

Oh great. It's Voley. I really don't have the patience to talk to her right now.

"Guten Tag!"

"Georgia I know it's you. You're so dim."

"Hey! I am not dim. In fact, I am vair smart."

"Apparently not that smart."

Crap.

"Look, you have woken me up a ridiculous time at night and quite frankly, I am bored. What do you want?"

I can hear her huffing down the phone. Stop huffing you huffer.

"Ace Gang meeting today, at Luigi's at 1. You can then tell us how the date went or you can actually tell us you had a date. See you then."

Bugger. I forgot I didn't tell the rest of them I had a date with Dave. They may kill me for not telling them sooner. But then again, if they kill me, they will never find out how the date actually went. And then I cannot tell them about how marvy Dave is. Ha.

**10 minutes later**

I have just less than 2 hours to get ready to go out. As I will not be seeing any of the guys, I can cut my 'get ready' time in half already so that gives me...3 hours to get ready.

I will just have to miss the yoga.

**Walking to Luigi's**

I can't stop thinking about how great last night was. And how Dave said he loves me. I mean I have heard it many many times before from various people (mainly Jas) but it was better to hear him say it. And to me too.

He still didn't ask me to be his official snogging partner though. I realised that yesterday after I got over the shock of him saying he loved me. It made me feel a bit miz but then I thought he has to ask me soon so hey ho.

**Luigi's**

All the Ace Gang are here. They all seem to be whispering about something. Probably something stupid and pointless.

"Hey Gee, did you hear? Robbie and Lindsay broke up!"

"No!"

"Yes."

I knew they couldn't be together anymore. Not after what Lindsay said to me about Masimo in the Tart's Wardrobe the other day. How I apparently scared Masimo away from her. Pfft. Masimo was not interested in her. If he was, he would have been with her. And was he?

Obviously not, because he was with me. Because I am so much better than a Wet Weed with knobbly knees and an invisible forehead.

"Yeah. Apparently they broke up a while back. Tom told me today."

"I guess that explains the whole loo fandango."

Jas nodded in agreement. The rest of them stared at me.

**5 minutes later**

Just explained the whole loo fandango to the rest of the Ace Gang.

"What a cow!"

It's nice to see matey mates sticking up for other mates. Although, Jas wasn't very helping when the whole situation was actually happening. She just stood there like a silent vole, which coincidently she may as well be.

"So why was Lindsay so insistent that he left her and not you?"

"Because, when Robbie broke up with her, she tried to go after Masimo too. And that's when Masimo had to leave."

So really Wet Lindsay scared Masimo off. I can't say I blame him. If I had Wet Lindsay after me, I wouldn't just leave the country... I would leave the planet.

**5 minutes later**

"So Gee."

What? Why is she looking at me like that? It's freaky deaky.

"What did you get up to last night?"

All the Gang are really agog. Jas is pulling a really stupid face when she is about to make someone admit something. But I will show her! I will admit to nothing.

"Not much."

**2 seconds later**

Ha. She's frowning. She must realise it takes a lot more than that to outsmart me.

"Nothing, at all?"

"Yeah. Nothing."

"So that wasn't you I saw with Dave then?"

"You never saw me with Dave. We went somewhere you haven't been before."

She's looking really smug now.

**2 seconds later**

Crap.

Clearly I need to work on the whole 'Not give anything away' thing.

"Oh Big G!"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"You must tell all or I will cook you and feed you to the Vikings."

Three guesses who that was from. I don't think you will even need three but I am full of generosity.

I was thinking about making them beg as it was vair funny (and quite painful) before but then again you don't get Rosie angry. I prefer my head attached to my body.

**10 minutes later**

Just told the Ace Gang every detail about the date. From the 'how well do you know Dave game' to what food we ate to the 'I love you's.

"He told you he loved you?"

"You told him you loved him?

"Awwww."

Crikey.

**2 seconds later**

They are all smiling at me. What in the name of Big G's tartan socks are they smiling at?

Would one of them please say something?

"So...err...are you like...together...then or...?"

Okay, I know I asked for it. But really, did that person have to be Ellen? And did she have to ask that question?

"No."

We then all frowned at the same time.

"So, he tell's you he loves you and you tell him you love him too, but you are not together?"

"Exactamondo."

"Freaks."

Coming from the girl carries her moustache in a moustache holder. No word of a lie.

**Walking home**

Walking with Jas. She is going on about a load of wubbish so I really can't be bothered to listen. Every time she looks at me I just suppose she has asked me a question, so I just nod. It seems to have worked for a while.

"So have you heard about the gig on Friday?"

Nod.

"Good, are you going?"

Nod.

"Good, who are you going to take?"

Nod.

**5 seconds later**

"GEORGIA!"

"Christ on a bike Jas. I'm standing right next to you. You don't have to deafen me!"

"I said... who are you taking to the gig on Friday?"

Who does she think i'm taking?

"I was thinking about Mark Big Gob actually."

She looked horrified. Ha.

"See you tomorrow."

**Loony Bin (Home)**

Got back home to Hooligan Headquarters only to Vati had tried his (very crap) hand at a bit of D.I.Y and broken it. Ha.

Apparently he was trying to build a chest for Libby's toys. He forgot to screw in the screw (which defeats the whole point of the screw) and the whole thing collapsed on his hand.

They have spent the whole day at the hospital. Maybe this whole experience will finally teach my Vati that he is in fact useless.

**2 minutes later**

Mutti just told me I have to be extra nice to him because of his injury. Aren't I always nice?

**20 seconds later**

Went in the lounge and saw Vati watching the footie. I will never understand that game. Men just run around getting all sweaty. They go out of their way to attack members of the other team. They roll around on the floor for a little bit because they are 'in pain' but they are fine enough to get back up and play again. Confusing to the extreme.

**10 seconds later**

I was standing in the doorway when someone scored.

Vati jumped up shouting something that sounded vair crap. I decided to celebrate with him too.

"Yeah. Go Mr. Man. High Ten Vati!" Which I thought was hilarious to the extreme.

Apparently he did not see the hilariousity because he then picked up the remote and started walking my way. I found that the perfect time to escape to my room while I still had use of my legs.

**11.00pm**

**In my bedroom**

I wonder if Dave is going to the gig on Friday. I wonder if he even knows about the gig.

But Jas must have heard from Tom who heard from Robbie so Dave must know.

I hope Jas doesn't think I am really going to ask Mark Big Gob to the gig. No way would I ever go there again. It would be vair awkward with the whole Dave duffing him up fandango. And his mouth. That just makes things awkward on its own.

**2 seconds later**

Not in the snogging sense. Well the snogging could get quite awkward but mostly it's just when you have nothing more to say and the conversation just fades you have to look at something. His mouth just sort of screams 'Hey! Look at me!'

**2 minutes later**

Only 5 days until the gig. I'm quite excited. Especially as it will be the first gig where me and Dave are like a couply couple.

Sort of.

Not really.

Merde.

**Monday 26****th**** September**

**Walking to Jas's**

Its vair nippy noodles today. I have about 5 layers on under my school uni. And also about 5 coats of foundation to keep...y'know...my face warm. I will have to hide behind Jas when we go into school. I couldn't risk Hawkeye seeing me and then taking it all off. I will then probably run into Dave and he will see me bearing all...Oo-er.

"Hey Jazzy Spazzy."

"Hi."

She turned to look at me then started walking away. What fresh hell? What have I done to earn the cold shoulder?

"What did I do now?" I don't really know why I asked like that. I don't do that much to annoy her. She's the one that is so hard to please. Unless you are talking about Hunky. Or Voles. Or Vole droppings. I think you get the nub.

"I can't believe you are going to ask Mark Big Gob to the gig and not Dave."

"Phahahahahahahaha!"

I think I scared her. Ha, she's not the first I will tell you that and I did because I just thought it.

"Why do you think it is funny?"

"You're not actually so dim to think I would actually ask Mark Big Gob to the gig?"

"Well I did run it by Tom."

"You did what? What in the name of Buddha's buddhaness did you do that for? He might tell Dave."

"You don't have to worry about that..."

Yeah. She can act cool. Her best friend did not nearly possibly ruin her life.

"...Tom didn't think you would, but I told him you really are capable of something so stupid."

And she stalked off. And that mon pallies is my 'bestest mate'. I don't know how I put up with half the things I do. I really am a saint.

**Break**

On the knicker toaster. It really is nippy noodles. I thought September was supposed to be hot? I think there should be a new rule that kids shouldn't have to go out when it is this cold and be held here against our wills for 6 hours by Hitler Youth's all over the world. It's just torture. It's not really like we do anything useful here anyway. Pfft.

**2 minutes later**

Talking about the gig Friday. Jas apparently told Tom to ask Dave about whether he is going to the gig. But only so Dave could see who I turn up with. What is wrong with her? A lot to answer that question.

We know that everyone else is going though. So everyone is deciding what they are going to wear. I'm not going to think about that until I know for defo that Dave is coming.

**2 minutes later**

I think I may wear my dark blue mini dress with leggings and my black heels. Vair nice if I do say so myself which I do because I just heard myself think it.

**Walking home**

I was really looking forward to see Dave after school especially because I have not seen him since we went out. The only fly in the ointment is Dave's not here.

Apparently he had to rush home because his Mutti wanted him home. Ho hum. But on the bright side, Tom said that he is coming to the gig. Yay.

**10 minutes later**

It's just Jas, Tom and Me now. All the others have snogged off to the park to...snog.

"So Georgia...interesting choice of date for Friday."

Why does Jas have to tell Tom everything? I'm actually vair surprised he is not sick of her yet. I would be.

"Yes Tom. That's what I thought. Do you know what else I think? Your girlfriend is an extra big twit of the first waters."

I gave Jas one of my full flaring smiles and she just huffed.

"What did Dave say?"

"He said and I quote 'I think another duffing up sesh is in order.' Care to explain?"

Jas even stopped staring at Hunky long enough to pay attention to that one. No doubt I will be getting a lecture about that later. I thought Jas knew about me and Mark Big Gob and Dave duffing him up? Who knows... who cares?

Should I tell him? But then I will probably get a rant from Jas about being a red-bottomed tart and I really couldn't do with that right now.

"Coming!"

And I ran down the street. I didn't even look back to see what Jas and Tom looked like. I think I made that believable. If anyone was around to actually shout my name.

**Home**

Been home for about 20 seconds and I am already being ordered around. Vati is milking this whole broken hand thing. In all my maturosity I shouted 'Mutti and Vati. Your vair intelligent daughter is back home from a vair hard day at school. Don't worry about coming to greet her. I know you are busy being normal parents, cooking my dinner and what-not. I will just go upstairs and let you carry on.'

And in reply I got 'Shut the bloody hell up and get me a beer.'

So, someone is able to go to the shop and get beer but food is out of the question. If I turn into an alcoholic when I am older, we will all know who to blame. And for the vair dim who does not know who I am talking about, I am in fact talking about the apparently handicapped old man in the lounge.

"And get your bloody cat away from me!"

Good kitties.

**Lounge**

Handed Vati his beer. And by handed it to him, I mean thrown it at him.

Gordy was sitting next to Vati. It looked quite pleasant for a minute until Vati stood up to cheer at the television, Gordy clung onto his arm and was flying around as Vati was cheering. In my middle he sort of fell back and started frantically shaking his arm to get Gordy off. Good luck Vati, he is vair clingy. Ha, get it. Clingy. Phaha.

"Georgia, get your bloody cat off me!"

"Fine. Come on then you twit. And you Gordy." Which made me laugh like a loon on loon tablets. I am a genius. Vati doesn't appreciate my humour. In fact, his face went bright red, he started shaking and violently threw a slipper at me.

I left in a hurry. Gordy will teach him for being vair violent to his impressionable daughter.

**In my bedroom**

I wonder why Dave had to rush off after school? The reason I go to that hell hole is so I can see my marvy nearly boyfriend at the end of the day and he doesn't even show up.

I may have to call him and find out. I also need to know when we are going to leave and all that wubbish. I can't ride on a camel if the driver never turns up. If that made any sense which I am pretty sure it didn't.

**Calling Dave**

I think the gig starts at 7.30pm so I think we should meet at 7. That way we will have time to walk there and then stop occasionally for snogs.

**1 minute later**

No answer. Hmm. I will just have to talk to him tomorrow I suppose.

**In Bed**

Libby is insisting that I read her a book. And by insisting I mean when I refuse, she will kick me. She has quite a hefty kick for a 4 year old. Blimey.

**20 minutes later**

Just read Libby a whole book. I thought to save time I should be really sneaky deaky and when I turn the page I turn two and then we would get through the book twice as quick, but every time I did she would kick me and shout 'Bad boy Gingey!'. She must know this page word from word.

Why do I need to read it to her again?

**10 minutes later**

Libby is finally asleep. She insisted I read her the book again but by the time I got to page 3 she fell asleep thank Big G and our lord Sandra. I don't think my shin could have taken another beating. How can such a young girl be so abusive?

I'd blame Vati personally.

**Tuesday 27****th**** September**

**Stalag 14**

**In the Tarts Wardrobe**

In here with Rosie as we didn't feel like freezing outside. I have said it once and I will say it again, this is a form of torture.

Me and Rosie are sitting on one loo seat. This is vair uncomfortable for my bum-oley. And my ears in fact. Every now and again Rosie will shout 'Hoooooorn!' She doesn't even think about if anyone passing will be able to hear us and then throw us back outside but there is no telling some people.

Just as Rosie was about to shout again, someone came in. I had to clamp my hand over her mouth. Which as it happens was not a bad idea as she bit me.

"Ow. Owwww." It doesn't make it very effective as I was whispering but I think she understood me. What kind of person bites people? Couldn't she just biff me?

**1 minute later**

We can't work out who is in here. They haven't spoken. Rosie has tried to climb on the door without making much noise but it isn't going well. And she's too short so she can't see.

Someone else has come in. They still haven't spoken. Talk you untalking people.

"So, tell me what you are doing again?"

What?

"Okay, but listen very carefully."

Wet Lindsay and Astonishingly Dim Monica. It makes sense now. Only Monica would have to be told time after time again and clearly by the tone of Wet Lindsay's voice, she has told her many times already.

"Robbie only broke up with me because I told him I wanted Masimo. But now Masimo has left, I need someone. So, who does that leave?"

"Err...I don't know? I thought Nicolson was with Masimo anyway."

"Listen to me. It's obvious I am not getting Masimo back so I want Robbie back. That's the short of it, okay?"

"Err...okay."

I heard Wet Lindsay tut and then leave the room. ADM followed. Why does she hang around such a weed?

**30 seconds later**

So she wants Robbie back. And if Robbie takes her back, she will only be using him. I think this is our first mission. I looked at Rosie. She looked at me. I raised my eyebrows, she raised hers. I nodded slowly, she shouted 'Hooooorn!'. Kind of ruined the whole thing we had going on but our motives were the same and that's all that counts.

**Geoggers**

Me and Rosie debated whether to tell the Ace Gang about the whole Tarts Wardrobe scenario but we voted against it unless we can be sure that Jas won't broadcast it to Tom or Robbie. Actually, Rosie voted against it and I agreed rather quickly as she was determined to shove that moustache on her face.

She thinks we should start the mission at the gig. I told her I wanted to spend some time with Dave as I hadn't seen him in ages.

"You will do as I say or I will be forced to tie you to an anchor and throw you in the sea. Witch!"

Blimey O'Reilly.

**Lunch**

Me and Rosie thought we would do some pre mission snooping to give us the upper hand again wet Lindsay. Rosie is taking this whole thing really seriously. She's even talking about getting a pipe.

Seriously, a pipe.

"Jazzy mon bestest pally, why did Robbie and Wet Lindsay break up?"

"I don't really know the full story..."

That's unusual for a Radio.

"...but it had something to do with Robbie not being able to trust Lindsay. Apparently, he saw her in town late one night and saw her with a bunch of guys, a bit older than her I think. Robbie didn't really tell Tom that much because it upset him quite a bit. Tom was upset his brother was upset too. They are both quite..."

"Jas, if you can get back to the point of this story that would be spiffing."

She gave me a sort of 'don't push it' look. She must still be hufty from me running away yesterday. Ho hum.

"Anyway, I think the next day they broke up and she didn't take it too well. She started accusing Robbie of stuff. You know, cheating on her and all that. Robbie denied everything as he should have because he did nothing wrong. He was right to break up with her."

I would hate to hear the whole story. That just bored the ounce of life I still had in me. But anyway, it makes mine and Rosie's jobs easier.

**Home time**

Okay, I have promised myself if Dave is not outside the school waiting, I am going to march over to his house and demand he snogs me. That might look a little weird but hey ho.

I hope I didn't scare him off. Or it may have been my Vati. He does have a tendency to scare people. Especially me.

I should say a little prayer I think just to make sure Big G understands what I want. I will also promise to be nice from now on. To my pallies and if it will make the difference, to my 'rents too. That is the sacrifice I am willing to make to see my Laugh.

**1 minute later**

Dave is there. Thank you Big G. You have finally listened to me. You took your time but you're here now. Thank you. I shall start on the nicosity of the new Georgia.

But If Jas touches her fringe I am going to have to draw the line.

**5 seconds later**

They don't look vair happy. The boys I mean. They are usually punching each other, y'know, 'having fun'. In fact, they look rather unfun.

Everyone ran to snog their boyfriends. They are so pathetico. That's why I only gave Dave a quick kiss and then started walking.

And a quick number 5 round the corner.

**2 minutes later**

"Yeah about that..." He turned around and saw everyone getting closer. "...at your house."

Okay?

**Outside the nut house**

"Oh before I forget, what time did you want to meet to go to the gig?"

"Georgia."

"I was thinking maybe around 7 so then-"

"Georgia!"

Crikey. He looks rather unlaughish. What did I do? I didn't do anything, I haven't seen him in yonks. What can I do to someone I haven't seen?

I didn't accidentally snog someone did I? I think I would know but I may have forgotten. It could happen.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not going to the gig Georgia."

But Tom said you were.

"But Tom said you were."

"And I was. Up until last night."

Well, I guess we will have to find something else to do. Although I was really looking forward to the gig.

"Why are you not going anymore? I don't see why you shouldn't I mea-"

"I'm going."

So he is going? Or is he going somewhere else? Why does he have to confuse me like this?"

"You're going? Going where?"

"To Leeds. My Gran. She had a heart attack."

**A/N: Oooooh :) Please review and I will love you all forever and a day :) **

**Maria x**


	8. Authors Note

Hello everyone!

Sorry again for being such a twit and not updating, but you see there are 3 very simple reasons why.

Firstly, I have just finished my exams in my A-Levels (but have more in May) and previously I was revising like crazy because I realised if I don't get good results in them I would have to stay on at my sixth form for another year after next year, and I hate my school. I then realised I would have to stay on anyway. Fml.  
Secondly, my computer has been spazzy and the hard drive broke not long ago. You may ask yourself (probably not...) why that means it has taken me a few long months to update but then we move onto reason three...

EVERYTHING ON MY COMPUTER GOT DELETED, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. I was pissed.

I had Coursework, Exam Prep and ALMOST 5 CHAPTERS WRITTEN IN ADVANCE on the computer. It's safe to say I will defiantly be spending the rest of my life in my school!

So, I'm afraid it will take me a little while longer to update. I am going to try and catch up on my media and business coursework first and then I will start writing chapters on Thursdays or Sundays, but obviously at the moment, my work will come first. I don't want to be 20 and still going to my high school.

Much lovesss

Maria x


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